Dr. Misner is at the BNI International Conference in San Diego, where BNI groups from 40 countries get together.

Synopsis

You can network anywhere, anytime—even at a funeral, but there are some things to remember:

• Honor the event: make sure your behavior is appropriate
• Network is about building social capital: finding ways to help others
• Example: telling a businessman at a church function about the California Community Foundation
• You have to have your wits about you and be there for the other person

This segment is based on a chapter in Dr. Misner’s book, Truth or Delusion.

Brought to you by Networking Now. Podcast produced by Live Oak Studio in conjunction with the Podcast Asylum.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 030 -

Priscilla Rice:
Hello everybody and welcome back to the official BNI podcast brought to you by networkingnow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice coming from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan.

Ivan Misner:
Hi Priscilla.

Priscilla:
How are you today?

Ivan:
I am doing outstanding. This week I am in San Diego for our BNI International Conference. We will have directors from all over the world for this conference, probably over 500 directors. Members are welcome. Members can always come to our conferences, so if you are listening to these podcasts, check on BNI.com.

Usually around May or June and November of every year, you can find out where our conferences are. We have a day for members. It’s an amazing event because it’s almost like going to a Uunited Nations meeting. You have flags from all of the countries and there will be over 40 countries represented.

Priscilla:
That is amazing.

Ivan:
It really is. We have all these accents and languages and flags everywhere. I really like talking about where I am, and one of the reasons that I do that on the podcast, is that I want BNI members to know that this truly is an international organization. That is why I’m always talking about where I am right now as I do this podcast. I travel a lot around the world because we are truly an international company. The I in international is truly representative of the international business.

Priscilla:
It’s exciting to think about that. Well this week, for this episode, the topic is you can network anywhere, anytime, on any occasion – even at a funeral. This is a chapter out of your book, Truth or Delusion. Is this a true statement or is it a delusion?

Ivan:
You know, it will surprise some people. BNI members tend to get this more than nonmembers, is it true that you can network anywhere anytime in any place even at a funeral? They will say goodness no, it is completely inappropriate. But the answer to the question is truth. You can. You can network anywhere anytime on any occasion, even at a funeral, but there are two caveats that are really, really important.

Priscilla:
What are they?

Ivan:
First is you must always honor the event. If you show up at a funeral and you’re passing out your business card, that’s probably not a good idea. It’s completely inappropriate. You can’t go to some things passing out your cards and marketing. It’s not the same as going to a chamber meeting.

And the second thing you have to understand is that my definition of what networking is and my co-authors, Mike Macedonio and Mike Garrison, agree that networking is about building your social capital. It’s about helping other people. If you really want to do business through referrals and networking, your first and primary focus in making a connection with somebody is finding ways to help them. So if your goal is to help them then the question is, is there really any place that is inappropriate to network? I don’t think so. I think you can network anywhere.

Let’s look at an example to put in perspective. Last year, I was at a church function and it was a beautiful sunny day in southern California. It was nice outside and we had a potluck. You may have seen one at a church function. We had a little pot luck and everybody got together afterwards.

Here at this lunch was a gentleman who I didn’t know. I wanted to get to know him. He was a very successful local businessman. I wanted to connect with him so I had someone introduce me. I started talking to him- and a good networker has two years and one mouth, and you should use both proportionately and pay attention.

I was asking him a series of questions. What I was looking for was something that he would say that would enable me to help him some way. So I asked him about his business and his target markets and how things were going. The minute that I got to a question that often leads me to that point of being able to help someone – I asked him what kind of challenges are you running into? He shared with me a great example of what I’m talking about.

He said, “You know, business is really good. My biggest challenge is I’m trying to create a foundation because we want to support charitable causes. We would like to create a foundation to have a legacy of our charitable giving. But it’s so expensive to do. I’m not quite there. My business isn’t there. We’re doing really well but not so well that we can create a foundation.”

I said I said, “Well, have you ever heard of a community foundation?”

He said, “No, what’s that?”

There are some all over the world. One of the biggest as right here in southern California is called the California Community Foundation. They create funds or accounts and you can have an account under the California Community Foundation for as little as $10,000.00. You can do owner-directed contributions where you are contributing to any charitable cause through them, and you don’t need your own foundation. Yet, you can have your own foundation name. So it looks and feels like its own foundation, a 501c3 or part of a 501c3 and it’s easy.

He said that had never heard of anything like that. Then he reaches into his pocket and hands me a card. He says, “Would you mind putting me in touch with someone there?”

I said absolutely. That’s what I’m talking about. I was looking for a way to help him not a way to do business with him. So of course first thing the next day, I called the development director for the foundation and I put the two of them together. Now here’s my question. If a day or two later I picked up the phone and called this guy, would he take my call?

Priscilla:
Absolutely would he take your call.

Ivan:
You bet he would. You bet he would. He would take anybody’s call, but I didn’t ask him for anything. I wasn’t trying to sell anything. I was looking for a way to help you and I found a way. That is what networking should really be about. The answer to that question to network anywhere, anytime, anyplace- even at a funeral- is absolute truth as long as you honor the event and understand the networking is really about, first and foremost, helping someone else. If you go into the process with that in mind, then it’s not only okay, it’s good to network anywhere.

Priscilla:
Right, because that’s an altruistic concept for networking which is all about givers game, which is what your organization is about.

Ivan:
It is. It’s based on the social capital law of reciprocity. If people help one another in business, you will all do better. BNI and the theory of the Givers Gain philosophy was that the sum of the whole is greater than the individual parts. We see it every week at BNI meetings. We have 20-50 people together on a weekly basis and they’re generating amongst each other much more business than they would do otherwise. They work together as a team helping each other.

Priscilla:
Absolutely. Well, it’s a beautiful concept and really when you think about it, if you are going to an event as sensitive as a funeral, you have to have your wits about you and you have to be there for the other person. That’s the important thing.

Ivan:
I agree completely. That is what good networking, relationship networking, is all about.

Priscilla:
Thank you, Dr. Ivan Misner. I think it’s really an important message that may encourage people to read your book, Truth or Delusion.

Ivan:
Truth or Delusion is available at most bookstores. It’s also available on our web site called truthordelusion.com. This is a great book. Just to wrap up, this is a great book for education coordinators. It’s great for every member of course, but if you’re an education coordinator, you have to pick up this book because I’ll tell you a secret that’s not in the book. It’s not in the book anywhere. We wrote this book with education coordinators in mine because we have 49 separate questions or statements. Guess how many weeks a year the average chapter meets?

Priscilla:
49?

Ivan:
Yes, the average chapter meets about 49 weeks of the year. It varies a little country to country but with holidays and what not, they take anywhere from three to four weeks off from the chapter a year. We wrote this totally with education coordinators in mind. If you’re an education coordinator, we hope this book will help you out.

Priscilla:
I will pass this along to the education coordinator of my chapter, and I’m sure she’ll be happy about that.

Okay, this is it for this week. This podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I want to thank Dr. Misner for this little bit of wisdom and thank all of you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we will see you next week on the official BNI podcast.