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Synopsis

Today’s podcast is based on a blog post Dr. Misner wrote this summer. As business professionals, we need to make sure we take time to notwork, not just time to network. Dr. Misner spends three or four weeks every year at his lodge in Big Bear with his family because he believes success is about having time to spend in a place you love with people you love.

But if you’re looking for balance and you own a business, forget about it. Strive for harmony instead of balance. Remember the phrase Be Here Now.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 077 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for working dowloadables.

I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
Doing great.

Priscilla:
And where are you?

Ivan:
I’m in Cleveland this week visiting BNI groups and having a great time. The best part of my job is to meet BNI members around the world. So, this week is in Cleveland.

Priscilla:
Well, great. Tell us about this topic. What do you have to share with us?

Ivan:
This topic really began in the summer. I wrote an article, a blog over the summer about this, and I thought it would be great. Somebody suggested, actually, that I share it on my podcast. It’s different that any podcast that anyone has heard me do, because I’m usually talking just about business or mostly about networking, but this one is about not working, not working instead of networking, which is sometimes good. People have heard me say for years say, “It’s not called Net sitter or Net eat; it called Net work.” And effective networking is all about learning how to network the network that you’ve developed effectively and appropriately. But I also believe that there are times to not work, and I think that many times entrepreneurs, salespeople, professionals don’t fully engage and understand that. I’m pretty confident that when I’m 70 years old, I’m not going to be sitting back saying, “I wish I spent more time at the office.”

So I believe that we entrepreneurs, business professionals, and salespeople need to make sure to take time to not work, not network but to not work. I do some of my best not working at my lodge in Big Bear. I’ve got a place up at Big Bear, California. I’ve done some of these podcasts from Big Bear. We have a tradition that each family member gets to pick two things that we’re going to do together during the time that we’re up there. And we’re usually up there three to four weeks, of which I’m working two to three weeks, and I take a week or two off where I don’t. I work from up there, but then I take time off up there.

We take two items each person, and we type it up. As each item is completed, the family member puts his or her initials next to it, and we post it on the refrigerator. We now have almost ten years of these things posted on the refrigerator, and it’s kind of fun for the family to go up – and we go up there fairly often – and to look at the things that we had done for part of our vacations over the years. Some of them are things like – this year, my son chose a mental health day. We hang around the house, watch TV, read, play games, mostly just veg out.

And I think it’s that kind of thing that recharges people’s batteries. And it’s important for us, as business professionals, to say from time to time, “Hey, you know what? Life is not just business. There are other things.” And success for many people, it comes to many people in different ways. To me, success is about having time to spend in a place I love with the people I love, and that’s what success is to me. I talk about this in a book that I wrote called Masters of Success, and it’s about having the time and the ability to do the things that I want to do, not just the things that I have to do. For me, family and travel and charitable causes are the things that bring balance or harmony in my life.

On that subject, Priscilla, would you like to know really the secret for creating balance in your life as a business professional?

Priscilla:
Absolutely.

Ivan:
Are you ready?

Priscilla:
Yes, I’m ready.

Ivan:
All right. For those listening, pull out a pen and write this down. Are you ready? Here it goes.

If you’re looking for balance in your life and you own a business, forget about it; it’s never going to happen.

Priscilla:
I thought you were going to say, “Do nothing.”

Ivan:
A good friend of mine, James Ray, talks about this, and he got me thinking about this concept of harmony versus balance. We, as business professionals, are going to be out of balance throughout much of our life. We have a mission. We have a vision. There are things we want to do. We want to achieve something with our business. So life is not perfectly balanced. I don’t spend 30 percent of my time working, 30 percent of my time with my family, and 30 percent of my time sleeping. You can’t do that every day successfully and run a business. But what you can create is harmony.

You can create harmony. It’s more than just semantics. There are times when I’m crazy busy where I’m traveling, like now when I’m on the road and I don’t have time to spend with my family. If my entire life was like that, if my entire life was out of balance, we, as business professionals, wouldn’t be as successful as we can be. There are times when you’re out of balance, but then what you have to do is flip it, because you can create harmony without having balance. You have times where you spend not working where you work from a mountain retreat. Not everybody can do that.

I’m a 20 year overnight success. It took me 20 years to be able to be in that kind of situation where I could have a retreat to go to. But before, I would take two or three weeks off and stay at home. Or maybe work from home. Does that work for everybody? No. But you’ve got to find what works for you as an individual to create harmony in your life. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re out of balance, because we are all out of balance if we run a business. But you can create harmony.

Let me give you another example of what I do. When I wrote my first book, I didn’t have time to it during the day. Now I take a day off a week and I write, every Wednesday, if I’m not traveling. But back then when I wrote the first book, World’s Best Known Marketing Secret, which was the first nationally distributed book, I wrote most all of it from midnight until 7:00 in the morning. And so I would work all day, come home, have dinner with the family every night, spend some time with the family, put the kids to bed, put the wife to bed, and then I started writing around 11:00 or 12:00. And I’d write until 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, sometimes 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning.

Priscilla:
And when was the sleeping?

Ivan:
Then I went home, slept for a few hours, maybe three, four hours, and went back to work.

And I could do that. Could everyone do that? No, not necessarily, but many people can do that. I’m now in my 50s. I’m not sure I could do that as easily now as when I was in my 30s.

Find things that work for you. See, that created harmony for me. My kids never knew I was working on a book. All of a sudden, I had a book out. They’re like, “Well, when did you write it, Dad?” I wrote it in the middle of the night. They had no idea. That’s the way you create harmony. Not doing that specific thing, but that concept of finding ways to achieve what you want to achieve so that you can have harmony in your life, because it might not be fully in balance, but you can still create harmony. Does that make sense?

Priscilla:
Yeah, total. You also sound like you have a very understanding spouse.

Ivan:
Yeah, well, I met Elizabeth in BNI. It was the best referral I ever got. So she knew what she was getting into; she was a BNI president when we met. Yeah, she understands. I think it took a while for her to understand what it’s like being an entrepreneur, but then on the other hand, I travel a lot, but then I get to take the family traveling many times. So if you can, again, create that harmony. If I was just on the road all the time and never took them, there’s no harmony in that.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
But if I’m on the road a fair amount and I get to take them on the road more than what would be normal or common, then that creates harmony.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
And I think one other thing that I would leave the listeners with – and this is a very unusual podcast because I don’t usually talk about personal things in my podcasts; it’s mostly strictly networking and business, but one of the things that I found that works for me right now is a real simple statement. It’s: Be Here Now. Wherever you are, be there.

So if you’re at work, don’t be thinking, “I wish I would have spent more time with the kids last night.” Be at work. Do what you’ve got to do. Then when you’re at home, be at home. Don’t be thinking about all the projects that you left unfinished that need to be done. Be Here Now.

Wherever you are, be there. And if you’re fully there, that’s one of the really important ways to create harmony. The power of harmony is that you’re a better person. And if you’re a better person, you’re going to be more successful.

Priscilla:
Yeah, and a lot happier.

Ivan:
A lot happier. And if you tie it to networking, I’ve got to do it. What can I say? I’ve got to do it. One of the top ten traits of a master networker is that they have a positive attitude. Part of having a positive attitude is being happy doing what you’re doing and having a happy life.

And so I see them as being part of the integrative whole of being a person. Although this is kind of a different podcast topic, I hope that the BNI members enjoyed it.

Priscilla:
I think it’s really important. Everything you said, I agree with, and it’s just a challenge to find a way to create harmony, but I think it’s a wonderful goal.

So thank you, Dr. Misner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
And thank you, listeners. I’d just like to remind you that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for working downloadables. Thanks for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.