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Synopsis

Networks are cluster-like. We tend to surround ourselves with people who are like us—but that’s not the most powerful kind of network. The more diverse your network, the more powerful it is. It’s the people who are not like you who can connect you to a completely new “cluster.”

So where do you look for “different people”? They’re all around us. The guy pouring coffee at the baseball stadium could be a retired CNN reporter. Don’t let your judgments about whether someone might be the kind of person who can help you get in the way of striking up a conversation.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 133 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
Doing great.

Priscilla:
What is this title, Networks Are Clumpy? What’s that about?

Ivan:
Yeah, it’s kind of an unusual title. Networks are, by nature, clumpy. That’s the technical term, Priscilla, “clumpy”! Networks are cluster-like. We tend to surround ourselves with people that are very much like us. And when it comes to building a powerful personal network, that’s not a good idea. The more powerful networks, and you’ve probably heard me talk about diversity in networking and joining different kinds of networks, this is a different subject. This is diversity in terms of your own personal network, the people you surround yourself with. And we tend to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us. They may have a similar socio-economic background, similar education. They may look the same, sound the same, be from similar areas.

And the truth is, the more we surround ourselves with people that are like us, the weaker our network, because we are surrounding ourselves with people who have somewhat similar contacts. What I’ve discovered over the years is that the more diverse your network, the more likely it is to be successful, because you’re surrounding yourself with people who are different that you; they have a different background, they have different connections, they don’t look like you, they don’t sound like you, they don’t have the same background as you. And these are people you will find within these groups of people connectors, people who will connect you to another clump or another cluster of people.

It’s one of the reasons why – I think it’s interesting. In BNI sometimes I’ll see chapters that want to have just a business to business group. And I’m not so sure that that’s always a great idea, because that’s a group of people who are basically surrounding themselves with people that have the same market. And the problem with that is they’re not going to be hanging out with people that are really diverse, and I really have learned over the years that diversity is the key to building a powerful personal network. And the more you can go outside your comfort zone and talk and connect with people who aren’t like you, the more likely you are to find that connector, that individual.

Priscilla:
Well, give us an example, then. Where would you go? If you’re used to your own social world and your BNI group and so forth, where would you go?

Ivan:
Well, that’s a great example. My answer would be, they’re all around us. We just don’t walk up and talk to them. I’ll give you an example. We had a BNI chapter – it’s a true story – a BNI chapter on the East Coast, and the chapter met in a baseball park. It was on the top floor of the park overlooking the park. Beautiful view of the park. And meeting every week in the morning, and the director for that chapter showed up early one morning. Traffic was always heavy in the metropolitan area, and she showed up early one morning, and there’s some old guy pouring coffee. And she’s a great director, and she just kind of walked up and started talking to him. She talks to everybody. She’s got the 30 foot rule; if you’re within 30 feet, she’s going to strike up a conversation! So she talks to him, and he answers her questions, and he’s got this deep, resonant voice.

She’s like, “Wow, you have a great voice! Were you ever in radio or TV?”

He said, “Well, as a matter of fact, yeah.” He was a news reporter for CNN, and he’s retired.

And she’s like, “Wow! What are you doing here?”

And he said, “Well, I retired from CNN. I was in Atlanta, and I got tired of being retired, and I wanted to be closer to my grandkids. And so I called the owner of the park.” This is a major league park, right? He knows the owner of this major league baseball park. Calls him and says, “Hey, I’m looking for some part-time work. You got anything?”

He said, “I really need somebody who will manage the owner’s box here at the park.” He said, “Would you do that for me?”

Well, this is a perfect tie, because he knew all kinds of people. And so he said, “Yeah, I’d be glad to do that.”

He said, “So I just happened to get here early on Wednesday mornings, and so I pour the coffee.”

He’s a retired CNN reporter, so she’s asking him questions. It turns out, in his younger days, he had interviewed JFK, Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandella. I mean, this guy had been around, and he knew the radio business really well.

Now, here’s why this is important. Later that morning during the meeting, the chapter was doing a special exercise, and it was sort of a meeting stimulant where they were doing 60 Seconds that were a little bit different. And this week, what the president did was he had everybody say, “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but have never really found the opportunity to pursue within your career?”

And one guy stands up; he’s a financial planner. He said, “You know what, I’ve always wanted to have a radio show on financial planning. Really wanted to do a radio show. The problem is I’ve never met anybody that knows anything about the radio business.”

Now, this is at the chapter where the guy’s pouring coffee. So after the meeting, the director walks up to him and says, “You ever see that guy from time to time in the morning pouring coffee?”

He says, “Yeah, I see him almost every week.”

“Have you ever struck up a conversation with him?”

He said, “No, why would I?”

And she said, “Did you know he’s retired from CNN?”

And the guy’s jaw just hit the floor. He’s like, “You’ve got to be kidding me. I had no idea. I thought he was just the guy pouring coffee in the morning.”

That’s what I’m talking about, Priscilla. He said, “Sometimes we make judgments about people, about whether they’re going to be the kind of person that would possibly be able to help us, and so we don’t strike up a conversation with them.”

I mean, come on, we’ve all seen it, right? If I go out shopping and I’m in my sweats and I’m at a store, people don’t give me the time of day. But if I’m in my suit, now all of a sudden, I must be somebody, and so people are more likely to take care of me better. Well, that kind of concept applies in terms of networking. We look at somebody, we make some assumptions about who they are, what their background is, and we say, “This is not somebody I really need to know,” and we don’t talk to them.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
My point it, you want to talk to people who aren’t like you, who aren’t in your business, who don’t look like you, don’t sound like you, don’t act like you, because you will find that some of those people are, in fact, connectors, who will connect you to contacts that will start your own radio show or help you achieve something in life that you really want to achieve. And that’s, I think, one of the reasons why diversity is so incredibly important. If you wish to build a powerful personal network, you’ve got to branch out. You’ve got to build a diverse network of professional contacts that includes people that aren’t like you, and when you do that, you’ve connected with people who are connectors who will link you to other clumps or clusters of people you wouldn’t otherwise have a chance to meet.

Priscilla:
It seems like you might have to join different types of groups, as well, or go to performances or branch out and do something a little bit different so that the people that you come in contact with are outside of your comfort zone.

Ivan:
Maybe, but maybe not. Here, we’re talking about a BNI meeting. This is an example where this guy had seen this guy pouring coffee, the member had seen this guy pouring coffee every week for a year.

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
He just never struck up a conversation. Why would he? He’s just the guy pouring coffee.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
So my point is, these people are all around us; they’re everywhere. I’ve often said we’re all standing in the middle of referrals, they are all around us, they are everywhere. But we don’t always take advantage of them. And so would it be important to do those things you’re talking about? Yeah, sure. But before you do that, start utilizing the connections and contacts in meetings that you are going to, because I guarantee you there are people that will be connectors that will connect you to groups of people you wouldn’t otherwise have a chance to meet. That’s why diversity is important, and that’s why clumpiness is important to understand in networking.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great! Well, I have one more question for you.

Ivan:
Sure.

Priscilla:
Do you think it’s useful to visit other BNI chapters?

Ivan:
Yeah, I think it’s a good idea to visit other BNI chapters, and you certainly want to be careful and tactful and appropriate, especially if you’re in a profession that widely represented in BNI. You don’t want to try – I’ve seen people go to meetings and try and do a 60 second presentation as though they were trying to get business, and that’s what alienates people. So you want to be tactful and careful.

And if I went into a chapter and I were in a business that someone in my profession was already represented, I’d have a chat with that person before the meeting. When I stand up, I would say, “We have so-and-so here.” As a matter of fact, I used to do this when I was a management consultant in BNI, and I was in a chapter that had a management consultant. I’d stand up and say, “Hey, I met your management consultant in your group. What a great guy. He really seems very knowledgeable.” I’d ask him a few questions so that I felt comfortable, and I could stand up and say that, and I could edify my competition in the room. Well, that doesn’t take anything away from me. I guarantee you that impresses people about my ethics as well as that person’s skill.

So as long as you’re careful about that, I think it’s a great idea to go see what’s going on in other groups, not so much just for the diversity issue, but also for the fact you can see what works and what doesn’t work in other groups.

Priscilla:
Right. And you can see if there are other people that you might need to refer to or you can help.

Ivan:
Right, absolutely. Great point. Thanks.

Priscilla:
Okay, good. Well, I think that’s it for this week, then. Thank you so much, Dr. Misner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
I’d like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.