Episode 147: “Premature Solicitation”

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Synopsis

Have you ever been solicited for business or for a referral by someone you didn’t even know? Asking for a referral before there’s a relationship is premature.

Someone Dr. Misner had never met once asked him for an introduction to Sir Richard Branson so he could market a product to the British entrepreneur.

Priscilla sometimes gets calls from aspiring musicians who want to be connected to multi-platinum performers who recorded at the studio years ago.

This is not networking. It’s direct selling. When you give a referral, you give part of yourself away. You don’t want to put your own reputation on the line for a stranger.

Dr. Misner would like to invite Education Coordinators to bring up this topic at their meetings.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 147 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. Well, thank you very much. I want to open up with a question.

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
Have you ever been solicited for a referral or for business by someone you didn’t even know?

Priscilla:
I have been solicited by people that I do know to refer them to somebody who’s kind of important and they didn’t know that person. It seemed inappropriate.

Ivan:
Yeah, but has anybody that you didn’t know them at all and they’ve asked you to give them business or give them a referral?

Priscilla:
I think I have in the past, yeah.

Ivan:
Yeah, most people have. And frankly, it’s a little bit annoying when somebody you don’t know is asking you for a good referral or for business; it’s very frustrating.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
Well, I met a BNI member in Miami, Michelle Villalobos, she’s a BNI member in Miami, and she calls this premature solicitation. Now you say that fast three times and you might get into a little trouble. But I love the expression, and I think it’s very apropos to some of the things that I’ve seen. I completely agree with Michelle with the idea that sometimes when you’re asking for referral before there’s a relationship, it’s absolutely premature, and I think many people have been a victim of this concept of premature solicitation.

I was recently speaking at a business networking event, and before my presentation, someone literally came up to me and said, “Hi. It’s a real pleasure to meet you. I understand that you know Richard Branson. I offer these really specialized marketing services, and I’m sure that his Virgin Enterprises could benefit from what I provide. Could you please introduce me to him so that I can show him how this would assist his companies?”

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
Okay, so I was thinking – now, what I was thinking was, “Are you completely insane? I’m going to introduce you, someone I don’t know and don’t have a relationship with, to Sir Richard, whom I’ve only met a few times.” I’ve talked about it in my blog if you’re interested in the story and how we connected, go to NetworkingNowBlog.com and look at the blog back in September 2007, or do a search on this podcast because I talk about it in a podcast here; just do a search on Richard Branson, and it will pop up.

“So I’m going to introduce you, somebody I don’t know,” this is what I’m thinking, “to Sir Richard so that you can proceed to attempt to sell him a product or service that I don’t know anything about and haven’t used myself? Yeah, right! That is never going to happen.”

Now, I’m really pleased to say that, with a lot of effort, I was able to keep that little monologue inside my own head as an internal dialogue.

Priscilla:
That’s good!

Ivan:
Instead, I had a little bit more subtle response to this guy. I looked at him and I said, “Hi. I’m Ivan. I’m sorry; I don’t think we’ve met before. What was your name again?”

Priscilla:
Yeah, right.

Ivan:
That surprised the guy so much that it made him realize that his solicitation might have been a little bit premature. I then went on to explain to him that I regularly refer people to my contacts, but only after I’ve established a long term, strong relationship with the service provider first. What was interesting was that he basically said, “Thanks,” and he moved on to his next victim. So I mean, I wasn’t even completely sure, at least at that point, that he even got it.

And so I just wanted to share that story in this podcast, because I’ve said many times that networking is not about hunting, it’s about farming, it’s about cultivating relationships with other business professionals. Don’t engage in premature solicitation. You’ll be a better networker if you remember that. And to me, this is a classic example of how somebody was hunting instead of farming, instead of trying to cultivate their relationships. This is not, in my mind, networking; this is direct selling, and I would argue that it’s bad direct selling.

Priscilla:
I totally agree with you. I sometimes get phone calls from people. This is a recording studio, and we’ve had some famous people here. And I’ll get a phone call from a songwriter or singer who wants to be connected to a multi-platinum artist that’s been here years ago, and it’s always very funny to me that they would even ask, but it’s similar to that.

Ivan:
You know, if it’s somebody you have a relationship with and you trust and you’ve done business with and you know them and they know you, I’m happy to put people together. That’s what my business is all about. That’s what much of my professional life has been about, is connecting people I know and trust with someone who needs a product or service. I’m all over that.

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
What I’m not okay with is connecting people I don’t know, I don’t trust, I’ve never used their product, I’ve never used their service, I don’t know people very well that have used their product or service, and I’m being asked to connect them with other people who I do know well. I’ve often said when you give a referral, you give a little bit of your reputation away. If you give a good referral, it enhances your reputation. If you give a bad referral, it hurts your reputation, and so you don’t want to give those kinds of referrals away.

To be honest with you, I think BNI members get this more than the average person, because we meet every week, it’s all about building relationships. But I think a lot of people that haven’t engaged in the kind of networking that we do where you’re going deep in relationship building, they’re out there hunting, they’re out there looking to bag the big one, and they don’t understand how this process works. And it’s a numbers game, and they just keep hitting people until they hope to stumble on someone who’s willing to it. The thing is, most people aren’t willing to do it, so I don’t know why they try.

Priscilla:
Yeah. Well, I think that’s really great information, and I think it’s commonly done. I think that is happens often.

Ivan:
Yeah, it really does, so I’d love to have the Education Coordinators share this one at your chapter meetings. Be careful as you name the topic; don’t say it quickly. I think it’s a real hoot, and I want to thank Michelle Villalobos for the phrase, because I think it’s one of those things that really helps you remember something that you want to steer away from, that you don’t want to try to do.

Priscilla:
Okay, great.

Ivan:
Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
You’re welcome. Thank you, Dr. Misner.

I think that’s it for this week. I’d just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.