Episode 172: “Being in Sync With Your Networking Partners”

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Synopsis

When Dr. Misner and his wife Beth were on safari in South Africa, there was a suspension bridge between the main lodge and the guest suites. When they didn’t walk in sync, the flexing of the bridge jarred them, but if they walked in sync, with the same stride, it was much easier to cross.

The same is true of networking. You need to walk in sync with your referral partners. You need to cooperate and to collaborate, and that requires two things:

• Proximity: you have to stay in contact with each other. Have one-to-one meetings.
• Stay focused on how you can help each other in business. Keep looking for things you can do for your networking partners.

If you do these things, you’ll build deep relationships and trust, and everyone’s business will benefit.

Brought to you by Ask Ivan Misner.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 172 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by AskIvanMisner.com, which is a Web site where you can ask Ivan any question you have about networking.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi, Priscilla. I am doing great, and today I’m actually at the University of La Verne. I sit on their Board of Trustees. And one of the things I talk about in networking is the importance of diversifying your networks, and one type of network that I recommend that people participate in are community service organizations, service clubs like Rotary, Lions, Kiwanis, non-profit organizations. And this is one of those kinds of organizations that I participate in that I think fits that mold.

It’s a private university in Southern California, University of La Verne, and I’ve gotten to be very good friends with the president of the university. And I’ve been sitting on their Board of Trustees now for a year or so. It’s a great way to meet other business people. Unfortunately, the president of the university is stepping down after 25 years as president. That’s really rare. And so I’m on their selection committee to select their new president. And this is a university that I’ve talked about in some of my blogs and how their starting to teach – they have a really good dean in business, and they’re starting to teach more social capital and emotional intelligence.

That’s where I’m at today, but today I want to talk about something that happened on my recent trip to South Africa.

Priscilla:
Oh, great!

Ivan:
And the title of this podcast is Being in Sync With Your Networking Partners. And I’ll tell you how we came up with this. My wife, Beth, and I, we were in South Africa recently on a safari at Camp Jabulani, which is in the Kapama Reserve – and by the way, unbelievable place. Their favorite words are, “Whatever you want.” You’ve got to love someplace like that.

You know, “What time is dinner?” “Whenever you want.”

“When are we going to go out on safari?” “Whenever you want.”

I mean, it was just an amazing – “What’s for dinner?” “Whatever you want.” It was just an amazing place to go. We really enjoyed it.

And they have a beautiful suspension bridge between the main lodge and the guest suites. And if you’ve ever walked over a suspension bridge, you know that the feeling of the springiness, especially if it’s a long suspension bridge, the feeling of the springiness under your feet as you walk. It’s almost like wearing those moon boots that I got for Christmas as a boy many years ago, very bouncy. And I’m talking about a walking suspension bridge, obviously, not a driving one.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
So as we made our way across that suspension bridge, we noticed really quickly that when we didn’t walk in sync, the bridge’s flexing and bending kind of jarred us both. As we tried to walk across it, we’d bounce, it was uncomfortable. But then if we walked in sync with each other in the same stride, it was really easier to walk in a way that didn’t make us look like drunken sailors as we crossed the bridge.

It got me thinking about networking relationships and the importance of being in sync with our referral and our networking partners. When I think about walking in sync with other business people, I think of collaboration, cooperation, and maintaining a focus on how we can help each other, what we call Givers Gain in BNI. And I think these are key elements for being successful in relationship marketing.

And this idea of talking about collaboration, cooperation, and mentioning the University of La Verne at the beginning, do a little side story here, as I go around the world and I talk about networking, especially if I’m in other countries, did a lot of travel over the summer throughout Europe and Africa, inevitably I get somebody who says, “Oh, this BNI thing is so American. It’s so American.”

And I look at them and I say, “It’s the least American thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

And they say, “What do you mean? How can that be?”

And I say, “When you think of American business and you think of corporate America, do you think of cooperation, collaboration, working with each other, helping one another?”

They go, “No.”

I go, “That’s my point.”

Because what I talk about when I teach is all about collaboration and about being in sync. We don’t teach that in colleges and universities throughout the world. We don’t teach that kind of stuff. I believe in order to build the kinds of mutually beneficial relationships that you desire in business, it’s really important to keep in mind a number of things relating to collaboration.

One is what is called the Proximity Effect. The Proximity Effect is – basically, networking is a contact sport, you’ve got to stay in contact with each other, you have to be in touch with one another. There have been a lot of studies about proximity and success and particularly relationships and studies that – one of my favorites was a study that was done in a college, and they said, “Well, who are your best friends,” and they named people. And they said, “Well, why are they your best friends,” and they said, “Well, because we have really close – we do this together, we’re close in this, we think alike,” or whatever, they had all these reasons. “Well, how did you meet?” “Well, he’s my roommate,” or “We’re in two or three classes together.”

And you cannot overlook the power of proximity, and so proximity with purpose, and that purpose being collaboration, can be very, very, very powerful. So staying in touch, holding one-to-ones with each other to learn more about one another’s business, asking each other how can you help, having that Givers Gain focus is really an effective way of staying in sync and supporting your referral partners.

We all need to make a commitment to maintain focus on how we can help each other in business. This is a kind of a new thought pattern, I think, for most business owners. We’re not schooled or trained in thinking how can I help you, and when it comes to those with whom we have this particular business community, it’s even more important than ever to maintain those kinds of relationships, too. Look for ways to help each other and to be in sync with one another, because I really, truly think – I know we’re running out of time – that relationship networking is all about collaboration and cooperation and being in sync.

And so in BNI, the more you can find ways to help and support each other in business and in your lives, the more you’re going to create friendships and relationships that will turn into genuine business.

Priscilla:
Great! I just want to add one thing, which I think is having the one-on-ones and really getting to know your fellow members is really the best way to be in sync, because then when something comes up, you really can identify who to match them with, and it’s – because you know those people, and exactly what you’re talking about.

Ivan:
Yep, the one-to-ones are really important. I learned something in Europe, that the phrase “one-on-one,” though, Priscilla, that you should be aware of –

Priscilla:
Did I say, “one-on-one”?

Ivan:
One-on-one has a completely connotation, so you get members going, “Yeah, I want a one-on-one,” and you get into a lot of trouble. So what we try to use now the phrase, “one-to-one” to keep ourselves out of court.

Priscilla:
Okay, good.

Ivan:
Which, I think, is a funny story. It’s amazing to me how things are so – we do the same program all around the world, but there are those little differences like – I think I may have mentioned this in a previous podcast – in Sweden, they don’t have the expression “word of mouth.” Did you know that?

Priscilla:
No.

Ivan:
No expression, so you know how they translate “word of mouth”?

Priscilla:
How?

Ivan:“Mouth to mouth.”

Priscilla:
That’s funny! Yeah.

Ivan:
We’ve explained that that, too, has a completely different connotation in the United States.

Priscilla:
That wouldn’t work here!

Ivan:
Well, so just to wrap up with this piece, I think being in sync is all about collaboration and proximity, got to stay in touch, got to be connected, got to do the one-to-ones, and find ways to help each other. And that’s the way you build relationships and generate business.

Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay, you’re welcome. Thank you, Dr. Misner.

Well, that’s it for this week. I’d just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by AskIvanMisner.com. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.