Episode 178: “Yeah, But I’m Different”

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Synopsis

This week Dr. Misner wants to talk about the “Yeah, But” syndrome, which is really just an excuse to avoid doing something we don’t want to do. When it comes to ourselves, we’re always the exception. We think rules are for other people. But there’s no good excuse for avoiding personal development.

Stop trying to avoid the proven methods. The basics work. No exception. BNI operates in 44 countries. Your chapter, your profession, can succeed if you’re willing to put in the effort. We’ll all be better off if we stop hiding behind our differences and look for the similarities.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 178 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, CA. I am joined today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. Doing great. I wanted to talk about something I call the Yeah But Factor. The Yeah But Factor goes something like, “Yeah, but I’m different than the situation. My area is different.” It is something I have seen for many, many years and I thought it would make for great conversation after last week’s podcast with Tom Fleming, where Tom is in a region in Florida where his predicessor could not get chapters going.

The thing I kept hearing was, “Yeah, but we’re different here in Florida.” Listen, the more we say we are different, the truth is the more there are similarities. Tom has proven that. He is running a tremendous region. I thought it would be good to talk about this concept today, “Yeah, I’m different.”

I’d like to begin with some information about an old friend of mine, Don Osbourne, who many years ago shared with me some material that he wrote about being different, what he called the “I am different” sydrome, which is basically just a syndrome avoid doing something that we really just don’t want to do. I have revised it a bit and am sharing it in this podcast because I think people will find it interesting, especially after Tom’s podcast last week, where he talked about systems,following the program, and goals.

When it comes to ourselves, we are always the exception. Everybody else should do what has been proven to work, but self development works once we stop treating ourselves as the exception. It’s true that everyone is unique, but it is not different when it comes to self development. Perhaps it’s only procrastination that leads us to declare that we are all different or that our circumstances prevent us from agreeing to follow proven methods of self improvement. Maybe it’s the fear of success or fear of failure- all kinds of legitimate concerns. But none is an adequate excuse for not engaging in self development activities. There is no good excuse for not following the basics.

I, for one, believe that activiites like BNI are all about self development. It’s all about building a personal network. Everybody who ever achieved success has succumed to the basics. In fact- I saw this when I was writing the book, Masters of Success- many success stories include fighting the urge to reinvent the wheel and sticking with what has been proven to work. Why we fight City Hall on I’ll succeed without doing what has been proved, I’ll just never know. But it’s a fight you are going to have to lose if you want to win the battle for improved lifestyle.

I think that is really true when you are talking about business networking. It shouldn’t take a tragedy or a major event to send you down the road of self-development. True, most success stories we hear about, or those that grab the headlines are like that. You could wait for or create a spectacular situation to spur you on, but most stories of success really go untold because they weren’tborn out of tragedy. They were born out of frustration and bing sick and tired of just being sick and tired.

I see it today in the economy, the global recession. People are sick and tired of just being sick and tired. The reality is that most of us are living out our own sort of story of quiet desperation, and that is enough, really, to make you different, but the kindof different that qualifies you as unique and therefore a candidate of the tried and true methods of self development.

I love this concept that Don wrote about and I have taken some liberties with. He was focusing on self development, but I really believe that what we teach in BNI- these podcasts are all about self development. They are all about improving your skillset and developing your personal network. I think the real irony of these podcasts, or any education that is out there, is that the people who need it most often don’t listen to the podcast.

Those people who are engaged in self development, they are the ones listening to this. The more we can get our fellow members also engaged in the process, the more successful I believe our chapters will be. So I would echo Don’s comments and I’d love to hear what you think of this, Priscilla. Don ended what he wrote many years ago- and by the way, I put this on our BNI Directors Manual because I loved it so much. It said, “Stop hiding behind this excuse of ‘I’m different.’ Accept what all who have succeeded know. The basics work, no exception.”

Tom Fleming talked about baking a cake but changing the recipe and expecting the same result. You’re expecting a certain cake, but your’re not going to get that when you are changing the recipe. That is what BNI is all about. I thought this would be a great follow through from Tom’s podcast last week.

Priscilla:
Well, if you want me to comment, I’m going to say that my chapter is called “No Ordinary Chapter.” So we have a culture of wanting to be different. I think that part of it comes from not wanting to be too rigid and so it’s difficult to follow all of your policies if you kind of have a culture of wanting to be a little bit looser, more creative and so forth. But you know, I really hear what you are saying and it really makes sense. You have proven certain policies work, and so then it just behooves us to follow them, improve upon them, and make them even better.

Ivan:
I really do believe that many times, people use “Yeah, but I’m different” approach because the truth is they just don’t like the idea. It’s hard work. They don’t want to do some of the things that we’ve talked about or the tried and true things to be successful. It’s easier to just say that it’s different here, we’re different, the community is different, or the city is different, or the country is different- when in fact, BNI operates in 44 countries. And it’s the same program in all 44 countries.

Priscilla:
That is amazing in itself.

Ivan:
That is amazing to me. And it goes back to a concept. Years ago, I had lunch with Brian Tracy, a well known expert on management and sales. I had lunch with him and I asked him whether he did training a differently- I think we may have talked about this in our podcast a long time ago- if he did training differently in other countries, multilingual. He said that no, he does his sales training the same. I said yeah, but those other countries have a different culture. He said yeah, but if you can teach people how to do things more efficiently or effectively, they are going to do it.

Then I started to think about the fact that we all live in an entrepreneurial culture and that transcends our cultural differences because we all want to do things more efficiently or effectively. If we can teach people how to do things more efficiently or effectively, that transcends what differences there are. We have to focus on our similarities as opposed to our differences.

That’s all I have today, and I know we are out of time, Pricsilla. Thanks a lot.

Priscilla:
Okay great, Ivan. Thank you so much. That’s it for this week, and I’d just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.