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Synopsis
Today’s topic is controversial: mobile phones in BNI meetings.
If you’re sitting in an important meeting with your biggest client, would you interrupt it for a text message or phone call? Of course not. So why would you do that during a BNI meeting?
There’s no quicker way to undermine your own credibility than to pay attention to the phone and not your fellow BNI members.
“But what if my wife goes into labor?” people ask. Yes, you can make extraordinary exceptions, but in 50 years, Dr. Misner has never been in a room with someone whose wife has gone into labor during a meeting. And nothing less serious is an excuse.
So unless you have a family member about to be born or die, just turn off the phone before you go into a BNI meeting—or any other networking meeting.
Read Dr. Misner’s Business Networking blog post on this topic, and then come back and tell us your ideas for the best way to handle the cell phone plague.
Brought to you by Networking Now.
Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 197 -
Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California. I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and the Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan.
Ivan:
I am doing great and I have a controversial topic today.
Priscilla:
Tell us about it.
Ivan:
This podcast, I know, is going to stir up a little bit of a hornet’s nest, but I think it is an important one to cover. I think sometimes we have to take on the tough issues and deal with them as professionally as possible. It’s about mobile phones in BNI meetings.
I wrote a blog about this in my businessnetworking.com blog. Basically, what I said there I want to share here in the podcast. That is if you are sitting in an important meeting with your biggest client and you got a text message, would you stop listening to your client, tune them out and respond to the text message? If you got a phone call, would you stop mid-presentation with the client as you were pitching your most important client about a new product in order to answer the call?
Of course you wouldn’t. That would be, I think, blatantly rude. You don’t want to do that. So why in the world would anybody ever consider looking at their mobile phone during a networking meeting? Make no mistake, a good reason for looking at, picking up and using your mobile phone in any way during a networking meeting really just doesn’t exist as a rule.
I know there are always exceptions, and when I wrote this on my blog, for example, I had people say, “Oh my goodness! There is always an exception. What if your wife is in labor?” And some really crazy, wild stuff.
Beth Anderson responded on my blog. She said, “Yeah, okay, fine. If your wife is pregnant, that is one thing.” But that’s always the thing that is used as one of the possibilities, right? She said, “I am 50 years old. I have never been in a room with somebody whose wife has gone into labor while they are in a meeting.”
So we are talking about an extraordinary exception. Of course, extraordinary exceptions are understood but what happens in the extraordinary exception becomes ordinary. People start coming up with lots of excuses to answer their phone.
I think one of the fastest ways to ruin your credibility and to earn a reputation as being a little unprofessional is to use your mobile phone during a networking meeting. In my opinion, it virtually screams to your networking partners- in BNI, these are your networking partners. I think it virtually screams to your networking partners that you don’t care what they have to say because you have better things to do right now and the meeting is not as valuable to you as it is maybe to them.
So if you want results from your networking efforts, which I am assuming most people do, then don’t use it during meetings- during networking meetings and certainly BNI meetings, and I would recommend at other networking meetings that you go to.
Do yourself a favor. Check your phone one last time before you go to a BNI meeting and then turn it off. I run a global organization and I shut my mobile phone off before I go to a BNI meeting. I don’t even put it on vibrate. I generally shut it off. If I can do that running a global organization, I think most business people can probably do that. What are your thoughts, Priscilla?
Priscilla:
Well, I think that we have an addiction problem with wanting to know who is trying to reach us. I think you are right that you need to completely shut it off because I can tell you that if it vibrates and I see that there is something waiting for me, my curiosity gets the best of me. I am like, “What is that?” I am distracted, you know. So I think that maybe that is the solution, pretend that it doesn’t exist because if it is in front of you and it is drawing your attention away, you want to deal with it.
Ivan:
I think so. And I think it is very easy for people to say, “Yeah but…, yeah but…, yeah but I have this reason. I have that reason.” Look, there are times where I am sure that it is necessary to respond, but as a rule, I think it is a really bad idea. You should have your mobile phone on about as often as a solar eclipse at a BNI meeting because it is disruptive and it is rude. I don’t think you would generally have your phone on if you were at a client’s office and you were having a meeting.
Somebody said this to me: you have to view your BNI members as your best clients, your best customers, your best prospective referral sources- which they are. If that is the case, then you have to give them your complete, undivided attention.
That was, by the way, the overwhelming majority- I had a ton of responses on my blog and I’m guessing I am going to get a ton of responses on this podcast. The overwhelming majority of members really felt the same way. They felt that it was probably inappropriate to have your phone on during a meeting.
Priscilla:
It does seem to be a little bit rude. I think what it is is we kind of take each other for granted because we are there every week. So it just feels ordinary, and we normally check our phones. I think it might be something like that.
Ivan:
Yeah. Some of the responses I got on my blog were that no good reason really ever exists. A lot of people have lost sight of what true professionalism is. Comments that it definitely stirs up a hornet’s nest but it’s inappropriate to have a phone on. It’s irritating and outright mannerless. These are some of the things that readers of my blog, many BNI members, said about having mobile phones at a meeting. One said it’s really just common courtesy.
So what I would ask for those of you out there listening to this podcast is to give some serious thought to this. You know, again, I understand that there may be exceptions, but think about the rule and think about the impact. If you want to have a really effective meeting, I think you need to shut your phone off as a rule. Asking other people to do the same or at least put it on heavy stun, if not vibrate- stun them, you know.
Do something other than have that phone on. That’s my advice. I think this is a great topic of discussion for a leadership team of a BNI chapter.
Priscilla:
Just one last thing. Our president asks everybody to put their phone on vibrate, but I think it might be better just to ask everybody to turn their phones completely off. I think that would be the right thing to do.
Ivan:
I think you are right and I have been in many meetings with people who run massive organizations. They somehow some way manage to run their organization with their phone off during a meeting. That is my advice for people in BNI. I think it’s the best thing to do. I love to hear from you, the listeners. Feel free to comment here on this podcast. Thanks Priscilla.
Priscilla:
Okay, you are so welcome. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you very much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope that you will join us again next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.
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23 Comments On This Post
We just addressed this in our meeting as a membership committee. I am an original member of a Hall of Fame chapter in Beaumont called the Southeast Texas Networkers. you might remember us as we started the BNI Fast Track program. We decided that during the introduction of the MC we would have one of us ask everyone to turn off their cell phones. We had some push back and still do but most get it. Those that don’t are those that pull the cell phone up even when it is just you and them. We plan a closed door meeting soon and will show them just how unprofessional they appear when they do this by using a roll play. Fantastic subject Ivan and great timing. Thanks for leading!!!
Often times a phone vibrating on the table is more distracting then a ringing phone. Giving full attention to the speaker is just common courtesy. Don’t we all want to receive full attention?
What a great way to articulate how much it hurts to be on the phone while in a meeting. Extraordinary exceptions, ok, extraordinary becoming ordinary is a sin!
Checking phones just before the meeting is a great idea. Im all in, phone off vibrate. I would recommend reminding people to turn their phones back on at the end of the meetings, thank you Ivan…
Great topic Ivan. This is really helpful to me as MC at our chapter in Strathclyde as we have a committee meeting this Tuesday and I have seen this problem occur just at our last meeting last Tuesday.
Thanks again Ivan.
Gerry
I’m not a surgeon so no one is going to die during the 90 minutes. And if they did, they’d still be dead at the end of the meeting. I sometimes forget to turn mine back on after, and darn it I just enjoy the silence a little too much!
I am so glad about this discussion. We on MC are discussing this right now. I am a 10 year member in CT and this is a problem that we are having with one or 2 people in the chapter. One we can understand as he works in an emergency type situation and la teast he will leave the room if he has too but the other just doesn’t pay any attention to what is going on…the excuse…my child is at home sick…yeah well your husband is at home with him…he can’t take care of him until you get out of the meeting? I had thought about just standing there when it is time for my sales manager 45 seconds and we would all stare at her if she was not paying attention. She is part of my sales team and I would not accept rudness like this from any employee of mine.
Ivan,
Thank you!!!!! This is a topic that should be addressed in all aspects of life. I am sick to death of being interrupted by “the cell phone”, in the doctor’s office, the grocery store, the restaurant, the work place, the meetings. It is very intrusive in my opinion and certainly has absolutely no place in the business meeting of any caliper.
We have just a couple in our group that are texting throughout the meeting and constantly looking at their phone. I will never refer business to them for that reason alone.
Picture yourself having a conversation with someone and while you are explaining something or perhaps even answering a question that your guest asked you, he/she suddenly turns away from you and starts conversing with someone sitting next to him/her. This is the equivalent folks.
About a year ago, my grand daughter, whom I am extremely close to, wanted to spend the night. I had to rearrange my schedule to accommodate her wishes. I was so extremely honored to have a 15 year old grand daughter that actually wanted to spend the night with grandma. From the time I picked her up until the time I dropped her off 42 hours later, she was constantly texting.
So……….the next time she asked to spend time with me, my answer? Sure, honey, I love and miss you and I would love to spend time with you. But….I don’t care to spend time with you and your friends. So……if you are willing to put the phone down for 24 hours, I will do whatever I have to in order to make time for you.
She was a little surprised at my response, but even at 15, she got it. Needless to say, we had the most wonderful time together during that 24 hour period and I can’t wait to see her again.
I know I’m getting really lengthy here, but you really hit a sore spot for me. Bottom line is that it is extremely rude and unprofessional and if you expect to get my business or my friendship, you better put the phone away. And….I WILL DO THE SAME FOR YOU.
I am so glad that this topic was finally brought up in a podcast as I completely agree that is is downright rude to be fiddling with your mobile phone when other people are talking and its just showing them that we are taking them for granted and if that is so, why would they want to be your network or refferal partners.
Having being a chapter director for almost 2 years of the Prosperity chapter in Pune,. India, I used to announce that mobile phones need to be on silent mode but I guess now as a Support director, I shall request my Chapter Directors to announce shutting the phone down and so should all of us in every BNI meeting.
I don’t know how to start. Thank you very much. I belong to BNI – Fortune Chapter Pune – India. My Director Devanand Deshmukh has faced this problem a lot of time. We have even got a step further; we say no more calls in the meeting even natures call.
This will help him a lot. I will take up this topic next Friday as my 5 min’s
Thanks once again.
I agree to having all mobile phones OFF. The first BNI meeting I attended as a visitor I heard the Director say ” Please switch your mobile phones off, we do not like to be disturbed in our meetings” It still rings in my ears. Thanks Sir for revising on a podcast this week.
Suhas
BNI Prosperity Pune Maharastra India
I am a member of Six Degrees Chapter in Port Elizabeth South Africa and i make my living out of the cellphone business.Ilove your comments and will use this podcast at my next Educational Slot as i have a huge problem with members who are disrepectful during BNI meetings.The message will be that people can understand that you are not always available and can leave a message for you to call.If this does not work pass them the skunk.At the same time i will demonstrate how simple it is to download BNI Podcast.
Yea! This is a great topic. I am an on call firefighter/EMT and I carry a pager for the fire department 24 hours a day. It “is” an emergency if someone’s house is on fire or they are in a medical emergency. Where is my pager during the meeting? In my vehicle! The same with my phone, it is on silent. Nothing is worse than a 10 minute speaker being interrupted by a cell phone and then the click clack of someone’s heels across a tile floor taking the 3rd phone call during that meeting. If your calls are that important for that emergency then you should have had a substitute for that meeting. Would you answer your phone during a presentation in to the biggest potential client you have ever had? If your cell phone with that really cool ringtone goes off in a BNI meeting, you just lost that potential referral to that really big client! Retain your creditability turn the phone off.
Dear Sir/Madam:
This is a very good item and long overdue. It is my hope, that BNI members will conform to the advice as given by our founder.
We in Barbados have been telling our members from “day one” to “turn off ALL cellphones” and this is before the Chapter meeting starts [this is literary the first item on the agenda] so it is nothing new for us here in the tropics – come on done nuh!
I agreed totally with the sentiments expressed here – It is rude! It is unbusiness-like! It is self destruction [considering the reason for the meeting]! to say the least, and yet people continue to do it! I have even seen on more than one occasion where a member [and not necessary the same member] said “Thank you” for a referral being pass to that member while at the same time the head was down looking at the cellphone – checking the incoming call/message.
So! What is the solution? I don’t know. I would say though, that we need to continue to
insist that the cellphones be turn off, and to depend on the good sense of the members who are really serious about their BNI memberships. For those who still insist in leaving their cellphones on during the meetings, do so at their own risk and that of their businesses – and would most likely overtime self-destruct.
Of course the membership committee could be given the power to police this, but it would only be very difficult, given the fact that these members too have to be ready with their own presentations, reports, etc. at the same meeting. This might be asking too much of them.
Thanks!
David A Aswat
Public Accountant
Member – Membership Committee
Hibiscus Chapter
BARBADOS
246-436-0391
I use my phone to take notes during meetings, especially during 60 second commercials.
I must confess that I have on occassion “peeked” at my phone to check mail…shame on me! I don’t have much patience with “phone peeking” in our BNI meetings, however. When I am at the front leading the meeting, I believe that the attention should be focused on “how we can help each other” and not on other business. Dr. Misner recently posted about harmony in his life. One of the suggestions was to “be in the moment”. Checking your phone is definitely not consistent with this practice.
I think that the simple professionalism concept goes much farther. Arriving on time (before the open networking begins), not talking during the meeting, not getting up to refill your coffee, etc. To use the same question you asked during the Podcast, would you do any of those things during a meeting with your most important client or potential client? I think not.
Sam Schwartz told us, that in his area, when mobile phone rings, all members stsrt singing :”happy Birthday to You”.
Couple of years ago, on International Networking Day event, he mentioned the same with the exception that I am only allowed to keep it on because it was my Birthday.
This podcast couldn’t be more timely! Cell phone use during our weekly BNI meeting is one of my pet peeves. I too, ask members to please turn them OFF, because the vibrate setting is disruptive as well. I have crews all over the Tampa area each day and I don’t look at my phone, knowing full well that I have calls and text messages. My crews know that I’m available just after 9am. One thing I often tell people one on one is, “unless you have the cure for cancer in your pocket, it CAN wait!”
A fantastic topic and timely. As we approach the visitor’s day timeframe, it becomes all the more important to address this now. Thinking in terms of visitors are the reason for the meeting, nothing turns off a visitor more than people not paying attention to them and looking at their cell phones.
I think your point of running an international business and still being able to turn off your cell phone is a point I hope many people heard. Anything else is just an excuse.
Rob
I am the same as Casey above. I have a spreadsheet on my smart phone where I have a list of all members names and takes notes of referrals wanted during the 60secs. The phone bit is in airplane mode and is therefore off.
I also take notes at conferences and indeed in church during sermons. There is an assumption when people see a phone in your hand that you are either checking emails, texts, or playing games (the last one from some of the kids at church!)!
Somebody with a pad of paper in front of them could just be doodling when it looks like they are wrting notes!
Somebody with a smart phone could be taking notes when they look like they are checking emails!
Appearences can be deceiving.
Very good topic & thoughts. I fully agree. Look forward to take this in the BNI meeting educational slot soon. Keep it up.
Vivek Godse
BNI dynamite chapter, Pune India
I just had an opportunity today to refer an attorney. I have 2 in my network (my husband and I are in 2 different BNI Chapters).
I took a look at the 2 lawyers, and they were very similar. Then I recalled one of them at the Member Success Program, he was playing on his phone the WHOLE time.
He is the attorney that is not getting the referral – and the only reason is because he played on his phone during a meeting.
Superb Topic !
According to me in anywhere in the world there are only two emergencies as a professional – A Doctor and A Fireman !
Rest all other professionals can wait….