Episode 201: “World’s Worst Networker”

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Synopsis

Tim Houston, Area Director for BNI NYC Outer Boroughs, joins Dr. Misner today to talk about his best-selling book, The World’s Worst Networker: Lessons Learned by the Best from the Absolute Worst. Tim is part of Dr. Misner’s Author Mentoring Program for BNI directors.

There are lots of books that show people how to network properly; Tim wanted to examine the subject from the opposite perspective. The book’s contributors include Bob Burg, Susan RoAne, Michelle R. Donovan, Robyn Henderson, and Ivan Misner.

The common trait of the world’s worst networkers is a mercenary attitude. They make networking all about them. That said, the world’s worst networkers fall into three categories:

• The Most Unwanted
• Environmental disasters
• Online outlaws

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 201 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and who is with you today?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I am doing great. I have with me today a good friend, Tim Houston. Tim is an area director for BNI in the NY area and has been involved with BNI, first starting as a member in 1996. So as of today, he has been with the organization for 15 years. That’s one thing I really love about BNI. We get people who are in for a long, long time. Tim is now the author of the best selling book- I’m really proud of you, Tim- the best selling book on Amazon.com called The World’s Worst Networker. The subtitle is Lessons Learned from the Absolute Worst. Tim is part of my author mentoring program that I’ve been running for a few years with BNI directors. Tim, it’s a real pleasure to have you on the podcast, and congratulations on the best seller status.

Tim:
Thank you. I’m really thrilled to be here. Thank you.

Ivan:
So how did you come up with the subject for the book, The World’s Worst Networker?

Tim:
Well, Ivan, as you said, I have been with BNI since 1996, so I have been networking professionally for almost 20 years now. No matter where I went, even back then, even today, sometimes you run into people that you just scratch your head and say, “Is this really networking? How are they conducting business? How are they surviving in business?”

You see them doing certain faux pas and getting themselves into certain fiascos, and they think that they are actually networking. I found out that this is a phenomenon that is happening around the world. Through sharing stories from BNI directors around the world, we found that there is a commonality here. There are so many great books, including yours, that are out there that teach people how to network. I wanted to look at it from a different direction and show people what not to do. More importantly, what lessons did some of us, who were once the world’s worst networker learn in the process. That is how I came up with the idea for this book.

Ivan:
You have a lot of great contributing authors. Bob Berg is good friend of BNI’s, a good friend of mine. Susan Roanne, Robin Henderson. Susan Roanne is also a great friend of the organization. Robin Henderson from Australia. Michelle Darbin who is a co-author of mine in the 29% Solution. Mene Stevens slipped in a couple contributions for me. I’m really proud to be a part of your book, Tim. Thank you for inviting me to do that. So you have some great people contributing to it. What are some of the kinds of things that people do to hinder or complicate their networking efforts, based on the stories in the book?

Tim:
One of the things that I have noticed, the common theme that I noticed is that some of these networkers have what I call a mercenary mentality. They go to networking events. They go to business groups. They go to trade shows and it’s all about them. They don’t care about building relationships. They burn bridges in the process, and they really think, though, in their own mind that they are really accomplishing something. In reality, they are just getting in the way and losing a lot of credibility. As you teach in BNI and also The Referral Institute about the VCP process, they have no or very limited visibility, any credibility they might have had is completely destroyed by the things that they do or the things that they actually say. Then there is absolutely no profitability whatsoever. They don’t have a grasp of that.

I think that is in part because they way, in some cases, they think they are supposed to network. No one has actually taught them. They think they are natural born networkers, but I don’t believe that is the case. Networking is a skill that you build up over time, with trial and error through learning from other people and the experts, like yourself.

Ivan:
One of the things that I have learned over the years is sometimes you have to talk about the mistakes that people are making, the problems that people are creating for themselves. You used a couple of articles that I wrote in the book, Premature Solicitation, which is a funny piece that I did on networking faux pas. So I think these are good examples, and it helps business people, BNI members in particular, who are listening to this podcast learn what not to do so you’re not one of the world’s worst networkers.

With that in mind, can you give us an example of a few people, maybe an example or two on who may be one of the world’s worst networkers based on your book?

Tim:
Sure. Absolutely. One of the things that we’ve done because there are so many different categories, we’ve actually put them into three classes. We have what is called the most unwanted list. These are people you could find in almost any networking situation. They are almost universal. The other types are environmental disasters, which you typically find in one or two specific environments or locations. Then of course, with the advent of social networking we have, the online outlaws. These are people who misbehave online or act in such a way while they “network” online, but it’s very different from what they do in real life and they totally destroy their credibility.

What I wanted to share. This is one of the folks who is on the most unwanted list. It’s called the outsourced networker. It’s a true story of two scares that I had in the early 2000′s. I’ll share one of the stories. I was at a networking event where a gentleman came up to me and told me he was a financial advisor. He had no business card and he knew nothing about the services that he allegedly sold. In the room, Ivan, there were about 15 or 16 other financial advisors there.

I figured okay, let me ask him some questions and find out about him and his company. It was a small company I had never heard of. He tried passing me off to somebody else, telling me call them up and get the information directly from them. About a month or so later, I see him at a chamber of commerce business card exchange and I jokingly reminded him when we first met that he didn’t have a business card. This time he did have a business card, but it had a completely different title. I said, “I thought you were a financial advisor.”

He said, “Oh no. I wasn’t telling you the truth there. You see, my brother was the financial advisor but he was too busy to network. So what he decided to do was send me to go to his events and do the networking for him.”

Big companies and small companies outsource. Outsourcing seems to be a little controversial in certain areas, but on the other hand, it can be very convenient. One of the things that these folks try to do with big companies as well as smaller companies- is there are some people out there who try to outsource their networking. They send people to do what I call the revolving door method of networking. They send one person from a company or their branch of the bank to go to a networking event, followed by someone else the following month. Then no one has a chance to establish a relationship with them.

I just thought it was bad practice because you know and hopefully our listeners know that people build relationships with other people, not necessarily with businesses.

Ivan:
That’s a great networking story or example. Any others before I wrap up here?

Tim:
Yeah, another example is the wanderer. That’s a true story also. They guy was going around to various BNI chapter meetings at the time and thought he would get a lot of business without ever joining. The twist to the story you’ll have to read in the book. It started in 2000, but the wind up happened in 2005. This is a case of a person who bounced around from group to group to group, never planting any seeds, never planting any roots, I should say. He thought that just by showing up, he would actually get business.

Ivan:
I call those nomadic networkers, who just kind of flip from one group to another. Interesting, over the years, that used to be a huge issue when I started BNI in ’85. It’s not quite as big an issue today as it was then because I think we are trying to teach people to think about establishing those roots. But there are still some people out there trying to do that.

So let me ask you, Tim, how do groups like BNI help people to become better networkers?

Tim:
Great question. One of the things I learned early on, what I love about BNI and why I am such an advocate for BNI, is because of the structure, the system, the coaching and the training and education our members get. It’s not just going to a meeting once a week and getting business and giving business. It’s a sense of community. The directors are trained in such a way to impart knowledge unto the members. Everything in the system is geared to helping our members become the best they possibly can.

You can identify it because when you go to other networking events, I can spot who the BNI members are because they get it. They get it and they know how to network. Other people go around and just basically wander or try to pass out business cards find themselves among the world’s worst networkers. We, in BNI, have helped people who were once a mess become a success when it comes to networking.

Ivan:
Yeah. That’s the last chapter of your book, From a Mess to a Success. I love that. Well, we are out of time, Tim. Any closing thoughts before we wrap up?

Tim:
No. I just want to thank you and also thank Priscilla for having me on the call today. Again, it’s The World’s Worst Networker. You can find more information on our website, worldsworstnetworker.com. The book is available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and independent book stores around the country. I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity as well to learn from you as part of the director author of the mentoring program. This would not have happened without that.’

Ivan:
Well thanks, Tim. What he is referring to is the authoring program that I have been running for a few years for BNI directors to help really take this information that we have and really create a body of knowledge and information on how to do this right. Tim has taken a look at this from a really fun perspective, what not to do. Love the book, Tim. WorldsWorstNetworker.com and Amazon best seller. Congratulations on that, Tim. Thank you very much for being on my podcast today. I’ll turn it back over to you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. That’s it for this week. Thank you both very much. I would like to just remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.