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Everyone experiences fear of rejection. In Dr. Misner’s case, the overwhelming experience came when he was trying to persuade stores to carry his first book. He found himself afraid to get out of the car and walk into the store to ask.
Finally he realized that the worst that could happen if he asked was the same thing as if he did nothing at all: the store would not carry his book. So he picked up a copy of the book and went into the store. They asked for 20 copies.
When you ask people to do something—including joining BNI—some will, some won’t, and either way, it’s not a big deal.
Mark Goulston recently said, “We have a lot less control over winning or losing at something than we have over trying or quitting at something. If you always try, you’ll eventually win. If you always quit, you can never win.”
Success doesn’t necessarily go to the smartest person: persistence is critical. If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right. So don’t let fear of rejection stop you.
The book goes through 6 different contact spheres or industry groups and identify36 different business categories to provide examples of how to recognize referral opportunities and give better referrals.
Most referrals happen when a consumer experiences a lifecycle event. Six of these constitute key situations when it’s easier to gain visibility and credibility with your prospects.
Business builder
Getting healthy
Getting married
Relocation
New baby
Real estate construction
Brainstorm ideas on how the businesses on your power team can provide services to people in each of those key situations.
Hazel Walker, co-author of Business Networking and Sex—Not What You Think, joins Dr. Misner today to talk about the GAINS profile, first mentioned in Business by Referral. (That stands for Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills.)
How does the GAINS profile help BNI members?
Goals are how we help one another. It’s much easier to refer another person when you know what s/he is trying to achieve.
Knowing someone else’s Accomplishments lets you build their credibility.
Interests help us find common ground and build rapport.
Discovering each other’s Networks lets us connect one another.
Skills provide more credibility and open doors to doing business.
The idea in a GAINS exchange is to have a conversation. Hazel likes to start with the I, because it’s easiest to build rapport that way. For instance, two men who resisted doing the GAINS exchange discovered they were both soccer coaches and became the best of friends.
Hazel also recommends doing the GAINS profile with members of your chapter more than once. The answers to these questions change over time.
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