Episode 226: Networking Vampires

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Synopsis

Networking vampires are people who aren’t trying to add value, only to make sales. These are the people who use networking events as a form of face-to-face cold calling. They can suck the life out of your networking experience.

So how do you deal with the people who are only out for what they can get from you? Unfortunately, most aren’t open to learning that networking is more like farming than like hunting, so you need to find a way to extricate yourself before the vampire sucks up too much of your time. If you attend events with your spouse, you can pre-arrange a signal so the other person can rescue you.

Read more about networking vampires on Dr. Misner’s business networking blog.

Have you encountered a networking vampire? Leave a comment to tell us what happened and how you handled it.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 226 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Well, I am in this week for US member extravaganza winners. We are doing a big trip to San Diego and all the people who won the extravaganza are going to San Diego, and I get a chance to meet them all. So if you are coming, make sure to come on up and say hello and that you listen to this podcast.

Priscilla:
Okay great. What are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Today I am going to talk about something kind of fun, the networking vampire. I wrote about this in my blog and I want to talk about some of the comments that people made. The blog is businessnetworking.com, so if you have a chance, go drop by and look at the blog that I do. Someone recently used the expression that I really got a good kick out of. It really resonated with me. She said that she met someone and that this guy was a networking vampire. He just sucked the life right out of you and would take all the business that he could get. He would take whatever you were willing to give him and drain it out of you and then move on to the next person.

I talk about networking being more about farming than it is about hunting. Total networking hunter, but she used the expression, networking vampire. I got a kick out of it and I did this blog and got a lot of responses from people. I wanted to talk about some of those responses and then you and I can chat about whether you have had any experiences with this. In my blog, Jason mentioned that he enjoyed it and that he definitely ran into people who were networking vampires. What he did was to try to disengage the conversation as politely as possible, with something like, “ Nice meeting you. I’ve set a goal of meeting X number of people today, so it was a pleasure meeting you.” Then move on to the next person. When you find someone like that, it’s basically cold calling and you just move on to the next person.

Erin posted a message that they really try to go into networking events to add value. So when they find people that they can add value to, they work with them, and networking vampires you generally can’t add value to because they are just trying to make a sale.

There is a really good posting about Jeff where they talk about having a gentleman from a consulting company come into BNI and use the BNI meeting to develop referrals for his lead service. He had a couple meetings and tried to do this hard sell on all the people. He did all these meeting just to do basically face to face cold calling. He tried to meet people and close deals without building any kind of trust or relationship.

There is one I really love from Allen Buchanan. He has been in our podcast with BNI. He said that he goes to networking events with his wife. I love this because I do this. When one of them sees that the other is in a tractor beam, as he says, with a networking vampire and they are being drawn in, they have a signal that they give one another. They will do whatever it is, touch their nose, pull their ear – I noticed he never said what that signal is. When I see him next time, I’ll be looking for a signal . When that signal is given, the other one approaches and rescues them by saying, “Honey, I am sorry to interrupt you, but there is someone who has to meet you and they are leaving soon.” And pull them away. I love that technique with someone who is a networking vampire.

There were several people. Bob was one of them. He said, “When somebody comes up who wants to just get everything they can from me, I try to redirect them and educate them.” Those are my words, not necessarily Bob’s. Do a little bit of networking education. Several people said that. I say good luck to that. Generally speaking, these people are not prepared to be educated. They have a one track mind and that is to close deals. Unsolicited advice is rarely taken. I don’t find these people generally in a mindset that they are willing to take suggestions and recommendations.

There was one other comment that I wanted to share from Terrance. I met Terrance. He does a great sculpture with soundwaves. He did the soundwaves of me doing givers gain. He’s got a sculpture for it. So Terrance, if you are listening to this podcast, put your website up here on this podcast. It’s a 3-D acrylic thing, really beautiful. Terrance came up with a term that he liked better than vampires, who drain all the blood. He said most people don’t do that. They just take what they can and move on. He had another term called networking mosquito. They’re annoying as heck. They flutter around. They take what they need and move on to the next person. That is probably as good or better a term than networking vampire.

So have you run across any networking vampires or mosquitos.

Priscilla:
Let me ask if you would consider this person a vampire or a mosquito. It was a member who joined our group and he did more one on ones than anybody else we ever had. He must have done over 40 and then he left the group. It was kind of interesting. Then he left the group. Is that a vampire? I was very curious.

Ivan:
It’s hard to say. It’s quite possible. It’s one of two situations as a rule. Either he was just there from the very beginning to get what he could and move on, so he met with everybody to get what he could in referrals and then once he met with everybody, he decided he was going to go network someplace else. That would absolutely be a networking vampire. Or he could have possibly not understood that it just takes time and the one to ones are a great way to help expedite it, but I think you said he was a member for like 4 or 5 months. It’s just not enough time. We have have hard data to show that for most of us, not all, it takes 6 months to a year to start generating the kind of referrals that you would like to get out of a networking group.

As a matter of fact, as part of my doctoral dissertation, we found that people who were in two years, compared to one year, substantially more referrals. Not only the quantity of referrals but the quality of referrals given that second year compared to that first year. Why is that? It’s all about trust. When you give a referral, you give a piece of your reputation away.

You told me off air what the company was. I know that company. Nice company. They have a great product, but it was expensive. You don’t just refer that to anybody. So you know, you have to find the right person and make sure that this representative is a good representative and that they are going to do a good job. It takes a little bit of time. So yes, either a networking vampire or he just didn’t understand the concept of networking being more about farming versus hunting.

Priscilla:
I think you’re right. Well, great. Thank you so much.

Ivan:
That’s all I have for today, Priscilla. If you are listening to this podcast, we would love to hear your stories of networking vampires that you’ve met. How did you handle it? How did you do? Not everybody out there is a networking vampire. I’m telling you. We have a lot of BNI members who are out there to give business. But we do run into people and we certainly run into people in other networking organizations. So tell us your stories on this podcast. Thanks Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. You are so welcome. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.