BNI conducted a survey for the book Masters of Networking that asked business professionals what the most important traits of a master networker were. The most important trait was following up on referrals. Not giving them, following up on them.

See Week 20 in The 29% Solution, “Follow Up Today,” for a networking follow-up report card.

Remember, the best system for following up is the one you’re going to use.

There are many kinds of follow-up. You should follow up when you meet a person, not just when you get a referral. Following up is part of building a relationship, not just closing a deal.

Leave us a comment to tell us about your experiences with following up.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 138 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you, and where are you?

Ivan:
Doing great, Priscilla! And this week I’m at the Transformational Leadership Council in Puerto Rico. This is Jack Canfield’s network that I was invited to many years ago, and I’ve been a member. We’re in Puerto Rico this week for their conference.

Priscilla:
That sounds great! Well, what do you have to share with us?

Ivan:
Well, today I want to talk about the Number 1 Trait of a Master Networker. Many years ago I wrote a book called Masters of Networking, and we did a survey. It was one of the contributions. My wife and I did this article that was in the book, and the article was based on a survey that she and I did almost 2,000 business professionals from several countries, and it was published in Masters of Networking. We asked business professionals what they felt were some of the most important traits of a master networker, and the number one trait that came back was that master networkers follow up on the referrals that they’re given.

So giving referrals, giving referrals didn’t even show up in the top five. But I thought it was interesting that the number one trait was following up on the referrals that you get, and the reason for this top ranking is that, in my opinion, if you present opportunities to someone who consistently fails to follow up successfully, whether it’s a simple piece of information, a special contact, or a qualified business referral, it’s no secret that you’re eventually going stop wasting your time on that person. They’re an embarrassment to you. Because when you give a referral, you give a little bit of your reputation away.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
If it works out well, it enhances your reputation. If it doesn’t work out well, it hurts your reputation.

And so following up is so, so very important. I talk about it in The 29% Solution at length, and I recommend, if you have a copy of the book, pick it up and take a look at Week #20, Week #20, which is on page 114 of The 29% Solution. And Week #20 is Follow Up Today. It talks about the fact that good follow-up is not just doing what’s required or what you’ve promised to do, it also involves going beyond what is expected.

One last thing, and then I’d like to maybe just open it up and chat a little bit about this, if we can. I’m often asked, Priscilla, “What’s the more effective system for following up and staying in touch with your clients?” Do you have any ideas, what’s the most effective system to follow up?

Priscilla:
I think I know.

Ivan:
What do you think?

Priscilla:
I would guess it would be a personal note.

Ivan:
It could very well be. Here’s my answer. It’s very simple, and it’s very surprising. The best and most effective system to follow up with and stay in touch with your contacts is the one you’re going to actually use. And I know I’ve talked about this on a previous podcast some time ago, handwritten notes are probably the best or notes on cards like Send Out Cards. I love the Send Out Cards and programs like it. I think it’s a great way to communicate with people when you can have it look like a handwritten note because you can do your actual handwriting with the Send Out Cards program. I love that, and I think it’s a very effective way to do it. The problem is I’m really bad at doing personal, handwritten notes. It’s one of the reasons why I like Send Out Cards, because I can do it from my computer. But handwritten notes, I’m really bad at; I just don’t do it. So is it the best technique if you don’t do it?

Priscilla:
No.

Ivan:
Clearly not. And so really, the best technique to follow up is the one that you’re really, truly going to do. And if I had to rank, order them in terms of the most effective would be that personal note, whether it be from a card like Send Out Cards or a handwritten note. That’s probably the most effective, but if you’re not going to do it, then clearly, it’s not the most effective. So if you had a great system and you don’t use it, you might as well have no system at all.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
That’s really important. If you have a great system and you don’t use it, you might as well have no system at all. So find a system that you use and that you’re going to use consistently.

In The 29% Solution, we have a real simple form called The Networking Follow-Up Report Card, and it’s very simple. It says, “Hey, here are the contact names. When did you first connect? What follow-up is necessary? When did you complete the follow-up? Did you follow up after that three months, six months, nine months? Did you follow up afterwards?” Any kind of system like that can be very effective to help track the connections and the referrals and the opportunities you have to reconnect with other people.

Priscilla:
Now, are you talking about the person who is fulfilling the referral? Like, I refer you to somebody and then you do the work and then you follow up afterwards? Is that what you’re referring to?

Ivan:
Well, there’s a lot of different ways; follow-up is important. In terms of the study we did, people were talking about following up on a referral they get. So if you gave me a referral and I didn’t follow up on it, it really made you look bad. If you give me a referral and I don’t follow up, you look bad. Of course, I look bad, too, but they don’t know me. So, it makes you look bad.

So from the study’s perspective, it was following up on the referrals they get, but the truth is follow-up as a technique, I think, is valuable in many, many different ways. It could be following up when you meet somebody. How many times do you meet somebody and they say, “You know, I’ll get back to you on that. Let me send you some information on that,” that then they don’t get back to you.

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
I find that when I meet somebody that I’m often referring articles to them. I meet somebody; we talk; and I may reference some article I wrote or some article that was written by somebody else that I make reference to, and what I have a tendency to do, so I don’t forget, is I’ll say, “Hey, can I get one of your cards?” And then I’ll ask them, “Do you mind if I write on the back of your card,” which, by the way, doesn’t work in all cultures. There are many cultures around the world where writing on their card is not appropriate. You don’t want to do that. But in most North American and European countries, writing on the back of the card is no big deal. But I still say, “Do you mind of I write a note on the back of your card to remind me to send you that article?” And they almost always say, “Yeah, of course.” And I write the note on the back of their card so that when I get back to my office and I have their card and it says send them a like to such-and-such article, I remember to do that, and I do it.

As a matter of fact, if any of the listeners here have ever talked to me and I’ve said that I’d send them a link, I’d love for you to post up here, because I know I send out 99.999 percent of the articles that I say I’m going to send, and I’d love for you to be one of the people who say, “Hey, yeah, I asked him for an article, and I got that link.”

That kind of follow-up, I think, is what helps to make a master networker.

Priscilla:
Now, the question for me is, after you’ve followed up, then some times passes, and then you should follow up again is what you’re saying, right?

Ivan:
Yeah, you really should. If you’re trying to build a relationship and hopefully do business with them, you should follow up again, you should stay in touch periodically. And certainly, one way to stay in touch periodically is to try and find ways to help that person. And if you can build a relationship, ongoing referrals are based on building a relationship, and so what you want to do is follow up to build a relationship, not just follow up to close a deal. Because if you’re constantly trying to follow up to close a deal, they’re going to hide from you, but if you’re following up to help or assist or to build a relationship, then they’re going to want to stay in touch with you. Or if you’re following up to provide content and information, like newsletters or links to articles that maybe you send out to your contacts on a regular basis, that’s a value.

So there’s a lot of ways that are called touch points, how do you touch your perspective clients and existing clients. In the more ways you touch them, it’s one example of following up.

Priscilla:
Right. Okay, great! Well, would you like to add anything else to that?

Ivan:
Well, next week we’re going to do the follow-up to this, no pun intended, and that is So You’ve Got Follow-Up Covered. Now What? We’re going to talk about some of the other important traits of a master networker next week.

Priscilla:
Okay, great! Thank you so much, Dr. Misner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
I think that’s it for this week, and I’d like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by commitments and obligations. You can’t get wasted time back. Here are a few tips to help you get a high return on your networking investment.

1. Be “on” 24/7: opportunities can come at any time.
2. Learn to play golf—or something else that aligns with your interests and skills and those of the people you want to meet.
3. Have “purposeful meal” meetings that give you more than just calories.
4. Make first impressions count. Take a closer look at your appearance and body language.
5. Seek out a referral networking group or join a chamber of commerce.
6. Sponsor select events or host a purposeful event.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 084 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California , and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. Today we’re going to talk about getting value for your time. That’s the topic of today’s podcast.

Priscilla:
Great, okay. We’re ready.

Ivan:
As the founder of BNI, which is an international organization, I sometimes get overwhelmed by commitments and obligations, so I know firsthand how important it is to make the most out of your time. You can’t get back an hour that you spent time on that’s lost time. You spend an hour doing something that’s a complete waste of time, you can’t get that hour back. Have you ever been in a situation where you go, “That’s two hours of my life I’m never going to have back,” because you were participating in something that was just a waste of your time? It’s not possible to get it back.

So since you know you can’t retrieve an hour or two hours, much less a day of precious time, you obviously want to spend it wisely and as effectively as you can. So if you spent your time networking, you’d want to get a high return on your investment, right? So here are some tips on what you can do and what you can focus on that give you various ways of spending your networking time. Many of these are mentioned in the book, The 29% Solution, which was released this year, written by myself and Michelle Donovan.

The first thing is to be on 24/7. Be on the top of your networking game all the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Networking opportunities present themselves in the most unsuspected places and times. If you snooze, you lose. If you don’t take those opportunities as they come before you, you’re going to miss them. In many, many surveys on networking and what makes a good networker, one of the top ten traits of the good networker are somebody who seizes opportunities on a regular basis. They’re not pushy, but they know how to network 24/7.

Here’s the second one that I think sometimes people forget, and those who don’t forget sometimes don’t take it seriously, and that is learn to play golf or something. Challenge yourself to a game of golf or some other activity that aligns with your interests and your skills. It’s got to align with your interests and your skills. A lot of business happens on the golf course. It could easily happen on a badminton court or the soccer field or across the pool table. Find things that you’re interested in that other business associates are interested in, and spend time doing those things. I’m a pretty bad golfer but have spent a fair amount of time out on the golf course, but there’s some other things. For example, chess; I love to play chess, and I’ve played chess with many, many business associates, and it’s a great way to have a somewhat leisure activity while you’re building a relationship with someone.

Third, have purposeful meal meetings. Get more value out of your meal meetings. If you’re going to meet and eat, you may as well get more out of the experience than just calories. Make the activity pull its weight as an opportunity for business networking. For example, when you’re at conferences or trade shows, don’t just eat with friends or people that you already know; try to connect with some people that you want to build the relationship with. If you are planning on going out to lunch at your office, invite a business associate that you want to get to know better. Have a purposeful meal meeting.

Fourth, make first impressions count. Make sure you get off on a good start. Learn to take a closer look at your appearance and your body language. Are they helping you start good conversations, or are they ending them before you can even say a word? I saw a blog that was posted on a networking Web site about someone coming to a meeting without their dentures. Oh, my gosh, what is that person thinking? You can’t represent yourself as a professional if you’re going to do that. Now, that’s an extreme example, but the clothes you wear are important, and you don’t have to come in a suit and tie or dressed in just professional clothes.

For example, we have painting contractors at BNI. I have no problem with them wearing their painting contractor clothes to a BNI meeting, but they need to be clean. They need to be pressed. They need to look like the professional that they are. And I’ve seen people come in, contractors come in in clothes that just didn’t represent the clean image and a professional image. Again, you don’t have to wear a suit every time you come to a business meeting, but you do want to look professional.

Seek out a referral networking group or join a Chamber of Commerce. If you’re going to venture out and attempt to join a group, the first steps should be to seek out – and I’m speaking to the choir here; this is a BNI podcast, so it’s mostly BNI member – so participate in a group like BNI. Also, join groups like the Chamber of Commerce, because that gives you more visibility. BNI should not be the only network that you’re a member of. You should participate in a Chamber of Commerce or a service club or an online network like e-academy or LinkedIn, so that you’re making connections with other people in other venues, in addition to BNI.

Number six, sponsor select events and/or host a purposeful event. Focus on how you can leverage sponsorship opportunities and specific events to position your business in front of key people. Of course, you need to take the initiative to make this happen. Oftentimes in BNI, there are regional events. If there’s a regional event, you think it’s going to be a good turnout, you should sponsor one of the tables that the local director is doing. And if you’re going to do that, don’t get behind the table; stand out in front of the table and make sure to meet all of the other members that are coming around. There’s a great opportunity to connect with other BNI members from other areas. And I think hosting a purposeful event of some kind is great. If you’re in the local Chamber of Commerce, if you have an office, volunteer to have the Chamber mixer at your office sometime. In BNI, if they’re doing events from time to time, maybe a Christmas party or something that they want to host a mixer, the local chapter of BNI, volunteer your office for that. Now you get people coming to your office to see what it is that you do, and that’s really valuable for your time.

Priscilla:
I actually did that. I had a BNI party here for our chapter, and I heard my engineer and everybody got to record, and it was a great experience.

Ivan:
What a fantastic idea, not only to have the party but to give them a taste of what it’s like that you do. I think that’s brilliant.

Priscilla:
Thank you. Well, have we come to the end, or do you have something you’d like to add?

Ivan:
Well, just to wrap up, working on these strategies can strengthen your network; it allows you to get more return on your networking investment, increase your visibility within the community, and most of all, to get the most value from the time that you spend networking.

That’s it for today, Priscilla. Thank you.

Priscilla:
Okay, great, Dr. Misner. Thank you so much.

Well, listeners, this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Dr. Misner recorded this episode from the International Directors’ Conference for BNI in Long Beach, California. It’s almost like being at a UN meeting: at least 39 countries are represented. All BNI members are welcome to attend.

Here are some questions you can ask when you’re meeting someone for the first time. Remember not to do this as an interrogation. Your goal is to get people to open up.

• What do you do? How does that work?
• Who’s in your target market?
• What do you like most about what you do?
• What’s new in your industry?
• What sets you apart from your competition?
• Why did you start your business?
• Where is your business located?
• What’s your most popular product or service?
• How do you generate most of your business?
• What’s a good referral for you?
• What’s the biggest challenge for you in your business?

Suggested reading: Bob Burg’s Endless Referrals.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 083 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California , and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan.

Ivan:
Hi.

Priscilla:
How are you?

Ivan:
I’m doing great.

Priscilla:
Where are you?

Ivan:
Well, this week I’m at the international conference for BNI in Long Beach, California. It’s a pretty exciting week. We’re recording this with me in Long Beach. The conference generally has up to 700 directors and members, and it’s almost like going to a United Nations meeting. So, if you’re a BNI member and you ever see us talk about the international conference coming up, it’s usually in November of every year, and it’s generally in Southern California. You are welcome to attend. BNI members are welcome to attend the conference every year. It’s like going to a UN meeting because we have flags of all the countries. We’re expecting at least 39 countries to be represented.

Priscilla:
Wow.

Ivan:
Of course, all these cultures and all of these different accents and languages, it’s really an amazing experience with keynote speakers and many, many presentations. The conference tends to be really inexpensive. The Members Day is generally well under $50 to participate.

Priscilla:
Oh.

Ivan:
So if you’re hearing this podcast, look every November on the BNI.com Web site and you’ll see – actually, you should look in October for it on the BNI.com Web site and plan on coming to our international conference. This is going to be a great one this year.

Priscilla:
Oh, it sounds great. All right, great. Well, what are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Well, I’m going to talk about what kinds of questions you can ask if you meet somebody at a networking meeting. Our last podcast, we talked about developing a magnetic personality, and I talked about Scott Ginsberg and common points of interest, CPI, and conversation starters and things to talk about. We talked about it in general terms, but I didn’t actually give any questions that you can ask. And so, with this podcast, what I want to do is give about 10 or 12 different questions that you can ask when you are meeting somebody for the first time to get them to talk about their business.

Priscilla:
Great.

Ivan:
Now, I talk about this in the book that we released this year, The 29% Solution, so some of this is in there, and I invite people to go and look at it in here. But here they are, and you have to remember, you don’t want to do this as an interrogation. I’ve seen BNI members where they’ve taken the questions I’ve given them and they’ve written them down on a card. And they’ll look at the card and they’ll ask the question, look at the card and ask the question. It’s like an interrogation. Don’t do that. Just think about some of these questions and go with the flow of the conversation. It’s got to be interactive and just ask the question. They may take you down a direction where you’ll ask a question that’s not on your list of questions, never was on your list of questions, and that’s fine. Your goal here is go get people to open up.

So here are the 10 questions, maybe 12 questions that I’ll share with you.

Start off with real simple ones. “So, what do you do? Tell me about what you do.” And then, as they talk about what they do, you have follow-up questions, “Well, explain that a little bit more,” or “I’ve never heard of that before; how does that work?” follow-up questions to that.

“Who’s in your target market” or “What’s your target market” is a good second question.

Third is, “What do you like most about what you do? What’s fun about what you do?”

The fourth question is, “What’s new in your business? Is there anything new in that industry?” Particularly relevant if you know anything about the business. “I understand the business a little bit. What’s new in the industry?”

Now, here’s a question that I think is a great question. “What sets you apart from your competition?” is the fifth one. “What sets you apart from your competition?” Now, you don’t want to start with that, because that may make people feel uncomfortable. You need to use that one a little later in the conversation, if you can.

Here’s the next question, “Why did you start your business? What led you into that? How did you get there?” It gets people to talk about themselves and open up a little bit about what led them into that business.

“Where is your business located? Do you have more than one location?” would be a good follow-up question. “Where is your business located?”

Here’s another question, “What’s your most popular product or service? What do people ask for the most?”

Another one, “How do you generate most of your business?” That’s always a good lead-in to invite people into BNI. “How do you get most of your business?” And, oftentimes, they’ll say, “Networking, word of mouth, marketing.” It’s a great opportunity to invite people into BNI.

Here’s a question that we talk about in The 29% Solution. It’s a question that Bob Burg always gives, always asks, and he particularly does this towards the end of a conversation. Bob has written a number of books, including Endless Referrals. He’s a big proponent of BNI and a good friend of the organization. He said, “How can I tell when I meet somebody that they’re a good referral for you? What’s a good referral for you, so how can I refer someone to you? What do I look for to know that they would make a good referral for you?” That kind of question, and I think it’s a great question.

Here’s, I believe, number 12, “What’s the biggest challenge for you in your business?” And I would leave that question for last, because if you ask that question first, it makes people uncomfortable. But if you leave it towards one of your last questions where they’ve really had a chance to talk, then that gives you an opportunity, because they will oftentimes share something like, “Well, you know, employees are always the biggest challenge,” or “This is the biggest challenge,” or “That’s the biggest challenge.” It gives you an opportunity to help them.

You see, two things I really want to leave with the listeners of this podcast. One is, you should always remember that a good networker has two ears and one mouth and uses them both proportionately to get people to talk about themselves. And the best way to build a relationship is to help people.

And so, this last question really gives you an opportunity to find some way to help them. For me, it’s oftentimes referring them to an article that may address that challenge that they’ve just shared with me. “Oh, gee, I think I’ve got an article that I read that talks about that. Would you like me to e-mail that to you?” And they appreciate that, and that’s an opportunity to make a second contact with them.

And so, these techniques on asking your own questions can be very powerful, especially if you end it with something that enables them to talk about some challenge that they have that you can somehow assist them with. And I don’t mean sell them your product or service. Networking is more about farming than it is about hunting, and the best way to cultivate a relationship is to help somebody. So, look for opportunities to help them in some way, and that gives you the chance to meet with them again.

So, before attending your next networking function, think about what you want other people to ask you. To get the most out of the whole networking process, take the initiative and ask those questions of each person that you meet first.

Priscilla:
And you think, then, they’ll ask the same questions back?

Ivan:
They might, yes, absolutely. And they may not ask them as thoroughly, but listen, your goal really is to build the relationship, not close a sale at a networking event. If they’re interested in your product or service, they’ll know pretty quickly, and you’ll know pretty quickly. So, what I see happen all too often at networking events is that people are trying to close a deal, and they’re trying to talk somebody into their product or service, and that almost never happens. That happens about as often as a solar eclipse where you just stumble over somebody that wants to buy your product or service.

And so the ideal situation is to help somebody where you can build the relationship, and from building that relationship, they will either use your product or service or will refer you to someone they meet who will use your product or service. And the best way to do that is to make a connection that allows you to contact them a second time.

Priscilla:
Yeah, okay, great. Well, what else to you have to share with us? Is there something else you’d like to add to that?

Ivan:
No, those are the questions that I recommend. If the listeners can jot those down and try to remember some of them as they go out and meet people. I think you will find that this is a really good list of questions to get people to open up and have them ask you some similar kinds of questions.

Priscilla:
Okay, great. Well, thank you, Dr. Misner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
I think that’s it for this week. And I want to remind all of the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Today’s podcast comes from Dr. Misner’s new book, The 29% Solution.

There are two elements involved in becoming a networking magnet:

1. Your ability to attract people
2. Your approachability

In order to stand out from your competition, you need to be the go-to person, the one with a broad network, the one who knows other people who can solve problems.

To maximize your approachability:

• Be ready to engage.
• Focus on Common Points of Interest (CPI).
• Give flavored answers (e.g. “Remarkable” instead of “Fine.”)
• Don’t cross your arms at networking events. Ever.
• Conquer your fear of rejection.
• Wear your name tag. A name is the piece of information most often forgotten.

Thanks to Scott Ginsberg for the approachability tips.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 082 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California , and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. It’s so nice to have you on the show.

Ivan:
Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
What are you sharing with us?

Ivan:
Well, today I’m talking about how to develop a magnetic personality.

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
And it doesn’t involve walking around with magnets in your pocket. It’s actually material from a book that Michelle Donovan and I just released, 29% Solution, and we talk about the importance of developing a magnetic personality and networking.

There are two elements involved in becoming a magnet in terms of your networking efforts. The first is your ability to attract people, and the second is your approachability, the extent to which others perceive you as being open. Together, they influence how magnetic you are for your business.

In business, magnetism typically means being a center of influence. What if you become a living magnet for your business, who or what would be attracted to you? Being a center of influence involves positioning yourself to attract other people to you. That means becoming recognized as the “go to” person, the one with a broad network, the person who knows people who can solve other people’s problems. That’s the person you want to become because that’s who you need to be to stand out from your competition.

A magnet’s strength is related to the composition of the magnet, not necessarily the size of the magnet. You’ve probably heard of a person having a magnetic personality, right?

Priscilla:
Um-hmm.

Ivan:
When something or someone is magnetic, the object or person has an extraordinary power or ability to track others. We tend to attract the people most like ourselves in our daily encounters. You may have experienced the challenges of trying to get into a group of six close friends who know each other, but they don’t know you. It’s difficult sometimes to stand out. Busy people attract other busy people making it more challenging to get that group together, but the rewards are great when you can get people together who connect effectively.

Let’s consider the second element of becoming magnetic, your approachability factor, and I think that’s a real important one to talk about for BNI members. Author and professional speaker, Scott Ginsberg, who has spoken at some of the BNI events around the country, has done extensive research on approachability in relationship. You may have heard of Scott; he’s also known as “The Nametag Guy.” He wears his nametag everywhere he goes; he wears it all the time whenever he walks out. I don’t know, you might have seen him wear it on his pajamas! He wears them everyplace he goes. And as the author of The Power of Approachability, he helps people maximize their approachability and become unforgettable.

Here’s a summary of Ginsberg’s tips on how to maximize your approachability. I’m going to give you about five or six of his points.

 First is: Be ready to engage.

When you arrive at a meeting, event, a party, or anywhere conversations will take place, prepare yourself. Be ready with conversation topics, questions, and stories in the back of your mind as soon as you meet someone. This will help you avoid awkward small talk.

 Second: Focus on, what he calls, CPI.

CPI stands for common points of interest. It’s an essential element in every conversation and interaction. Your duty as you meet new people or even as you talk with those you already know is to discover the CPI as soon as possible. It helps establish a bond between you and others, and it increases your approachability and allows them to feel more comfortable talking to you.

The tool that we use in BNI to do this is the GAINS Exchange. It’s the document you can get from a BNI director; it’s also in the book, Business by Referral, and it’s an acronym. It stands for Goals, Accomplishments, Interests, Networks, and Skills, and it definitely helps to establish common points of interest between you and other people.

 The third point is: Give flavored answers.

And I love this one. You’ve heard plenty of fruitless questions in your interactions, questions like, “How’s it going,” “What’s up,” “How are you.” Well, when such questions come up, Scott warns don’t fall into the conversation ending trap of responding, “Fine. I’m doing all right.” Instead, offer a flavored answer, “Amazing,” “Any better, I’d be twins,” “Everything is beautiful.’

Norm Dominguez, our CEO for BNI, always says, “Remarkable.” And he says, “I always use that term because it could be remarkably good or it could be remarkably bad, but I can say ‘Remarkable’ every time, and it comes out positive.”

Here’s my favorite one, and I think I’ve done this with you, Priscilla. So when someone says, “Well, how are you doing, Ivan,” I’ll say, “If I were doing any better, I’d cancel my life insurance.” You like that one? That always goes over really well with everyone but life insurance agents.

Priscilla:
You did something like that with me, I think.

Ivan:
And I’ve got to say if my life insurance agent, who is a BNI member, is listening, I’m just kidding, Mike. I’m not going to cancel my life insurance.

Scott says offer a flavored answer. That’s really important because nobody expects it. Not only that, but offering a true response to magnify the way you feel is a perfect way to share yourself or make yourself personally available to others.

 Here’s his fourth one: Don’t cross your arms at networking events.

Even if you’re cold, bored, tired, or just don’t want to be there, don’t cross you arms. It makes you seem defensive, nervous, judgmental, close-minded, or skeptical. It’s a simple subconscious, non-verbal cue that says, “Stay away.” People see crossed arms, and they drift away. They don’t want to bother you; you’re not approachable.

Think about it. Would you want to approach someone like that? Probably not, so when you feel that urge to fold your arms across you chest like a shield, stop, be conscious of its effect and relax and do something else with your arms and hands.

 Here’s his fifth one: Conquer your feeling of rejection.

Do you ever hear yourself saying, “They won’t say ‘hello’ back,” “They won’t be interested in me,” “I’ll say something foolish.” Fear is the number one reason people don’t start conversations, fear of rejection, fear of inadequacy, and fear of looking foolish. But practice will make this fear fade. The more you start conversations, the better you become at it, so be the first person to introduce yourself or simply to say “Hello,” and when you take an active rather than a passive role, you develop your skills and lower your chances of rejection.

 Here’s his last one, and I love this; it’s: Wear your nametag.

And of course, he’s The Nametag Guy, so that’s the important one. We’ve heard every possible excuse not to wear nametags, and all of them can be rebutted. If someone says nametags look silly, yeah, they do, but remember everyone else is wearing one, too, so don’t feel bad.

“Nametags ruin my clothes.” Not if you wear them on the edge of your lapel or cloth-safe connectors like lanyards and plastic clips; that won’t ruin clothes.

Here’s the one that drives me crazy. “I already know everybody,” or “Everybody knows me.” No, you don’t and no, they don’t. You may think you do, but people join and leave business organizations all the time, and not everybody there knows you.

So your nametag is really the best friend for several reasons. First of all, a person’s name is the single piece of personal information most often forgotten, and people are less likely to approach you if they don’t know or if they’ve forgotten your name. Second, it’s free advertising for you and your company. And third, nametags encourage people to be friendly and more approachable.

I’ve seen my wife, when she was a BNI director, Beth would go out wearing the BNI name badge all the time, every place she went. When she was at the grocery store or picking up the kids, she wore her BNI name badge. And it’s amazing how many people asked her questions about what she did and what BNI was. It’s a great technique to get visitors to come to the organization because they will start a conversation, they’ll look at the nametag, and they’ll ask you questions.

Have you experienced that?

Priscilla:
Yeah. I think it’s a great tool. I just wanted to comment about wearing a nametag in an event is that so many people can’t remember names, and it makes them feel at ease to be able to just – I know I feel that way, in particular.

Ivan:
Yeah, and it’s also an easy way to strike up a conversation because you not only see the person’s name, but you can see their profession or their company name. For me, it’s an easy way to say, “So tell me more about XYZ Company” or “So I see you’re a chiropractor. How long have you been that?” It allows you to open up a dialog about their profession as well as them individually.

Well, to wrap up, Ginsberg’s axiom about the CPI, the common points of interest, is particularly powerful in networking for your business, consider the people you know best right now. If you know them through work, they all share work with you as a CPI, as a common point of interest. If you know them through your soccer league, they share your interest in soccer. With that in mind, you could be attracting people who later, after you’ve built a relationship starting from this common ground, could help you in your business. And I love Scott’s material. If you have a chance, I recommend that you take a look at his book.

Priscilla:
Great. Okay. Well, thank you. Do you have any last minute tidbit, or have you summed it up?

Ivan:
That pretty much sums it up, but Scott’s book, The Power of Approachability, is a great book, and we also talk about that book in The 29% Solution. And members, of course, can get the book at bookstores or at Amazon. We also have a Web site, 29percentsolution.com, the number 2, the number 9, the word “percent” and then “solution,” 29percentsolution.com.

Priscilla:
Okay, great. Well, I think that’s it for this week. Thank you so much, Dr. Mizner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
I want to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.