This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 203.

The title of the podcast comes from the late Paul Harvey’s radio broadcast. It’s “the rest of the story” about Ivan Misner and the founding of BNI.

See the complete transcript on Episode 203.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

The title of today’s podcast comes from the late Paul Harvey’s radio broadcast. It’s “the rest of the story” about Ivan Misner and the founding of BNI.

When Ivan was six, his family moved from Pittsburgh to south-central LA. He wanted to be a lawyer, but couldn’t afford to attend a four-year private college, even with scholarships. He went first to a community college and then to a state school. He was accepted to law school, but realized he didn’t want to be a lawyer and went to graduate school in management instead. At the age of 24, he was supervising 500 people for the Census Bureau…making $16,000 a year.

This cured him of any desire to work for the government, and before long he set up his own consulting practice. Speaking and referrals were his main source of business. He created BNI in order to grow his own business. At the time, he didn’t have a clear vision of where he wanted to go professionally. Like most successful entrepreneurs, he’s bounced around a little bit.

Anyone can achieve success. But don’t just do what you think you should do. Do what you love. If you don’t do what you love, you won’t love what you do. And since you need persistence and commitment to succeed, it helps to have that passion.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 203 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, CA. I am joined today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello, Ivan. How are you and what is this title, The Rest of the Story, all about?

Ivan:
Well, it’s- I didn’t know what else to call this. It’s an interesting podcast this week. It’s a personal story more than an educational piece. The title comes from actually Paul Harvey, who passed away a number of years ago, but he used to do a radio broadcast. He incorporated into his radio broadcast a piece that was called the Rest of the Story. It really dealt with an element of what was in his news either that day or some other day that was behind the scenes. It was the rest of the story. It was the story that wasn’t really talked about in the news but an important aspect or an important part of the result that ended up being the story. He would always end with, “That’s the rest of the story.”

I thought that might make a good title for this because I am talking in a way about what happened to help me create BNI, but it’s part of the story that I rarely talk about. I did an interview in the San Gabriel Valley Business Journal not long ago. One of my staff members read the story and she said, “You ought to do this as a podcast.” I said to her, “Why would I do that as a podcast?” She said, “Because members would love to hear the story.”

I didn’t understand why and she said, “Because a lot of people think that you come from wealth or that you come from a special background. It would be of value for people to see that anybody can go from anywhere to create a successful business.” So she kind of talked me into talking a little bit about what that interview consisted of that I did with the San Gabriel Valley Business Journal.

With that interview, I basically started with where and how I grew up. I moved from Pittsburgh, PA. We moved from Pittsburgh, PA to south central Los Angeles. At the age of six, I lived in south central LA, which is a pretty tough neighborhood. By the time I was seven, I moved to the Azusa area. I went to elementary, middle school and high school at the Azusa Unified School District, which was definitely a lower middle class community.

I always wanted to be a lawyer, so in high school, I really prepared myself mentally, emotionally to go in the direction of becoming an attorney. I had been accepted into college. I was actually accepted into Occidental College, but I couldn’t afford it. Even though I had some scholarships that they had given me, I couldn’t afford it. I knew I would go to graduate school probably, a lawyer. I just couldn’t afford four years of private school and then graduate school.

So I turned down the scholarships at Occidental and went to a little community college in Azusa, called Citrus College. From there, I went to a state college, Cal Poly Pomona, and I actually received my bachelors degree in political science, of all things. Political science. It was there when I got my bachelors degree that I applied and was accepted to law school.

I have to tell you, Priscilla, something happened. I don’t know what. I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t know why but I decided as a young man 22 years old that I didn’t want to be a lawyer. I couldn’t tell you why I didn’t want to be one anymore. I just knew that’s not the direction I wanted to go. So I went on to graduate school in management.

Interestingly enough, my direction early on was in the public sector, public administration. My first management job was in 1980 with the Department of Commerce. I actually worked with the Department of Commerce at the station of the US Census Bureau in Covena. I was 24 years old and supervised 300 people. At 24. Later that year, they moved me to the North Hollywood office and then it was a bigger office, so I supervised about 500 people there. You’ll laugh at this. I made a whopping $16,000 a year salary.

Priscilla:
Did you do a good job, Ivan?

Ivan:
That’s why they promoted me to the North Hollywood office and actually asked me if I wanted to go to New York, but I turned that one down. But it was great experience. It was trial by fire. I learned how to manage people, really, through necessity. I probably hired and fired more people in that one year than I did in the next 20 years combined. It was an amazing experience. Even though there wasn’t much pay, it was incredible work experience for me.

The problem was I learned that I could never work for government, government jobs. It’s insanity. The bureaucracy just drove me crazy. I found out I couldn’t work for government anymore. I got a job working as the plant manager for a small manufacturing plant in Los Angeles. That was the first time that I was really working for the public sector. In between, I worked at a transportation company. That was funded mostly by the government. I didn’t like that and went to work as a manager for a light manufacturing company.

All of this is what led me up to finally deciding to go on my own. Most people know this story about starting BNI. I decided to start a consulting practice and most of the way that I got my business was through referrals and speaking engagements. So I did a lot of speaking engagements and then really referrals were the best way to get business. I put together BNI as a way of getting referrals for my consulting practice. I had lost a big client that I had just started with a year earlier. When he didn’t renew, I really needed referrals desperately and put BNI together.

That is sort of the rest of the story in what led up to getting BNI. I think the reason that my staff thought that this was valuable was really the whole idea of- and I think I’ve said this before in the podcast- I’m a 20-year overnight success. It took 20 years to build this business, but it took a good 5 or 10 years before I even started this business, and I didn’t really have a vision of exactly where I wanted to go professionally.

I think particularly new people in business look around at people who have been around for 20, 30, 40 years and finally achieved some level of success and they think this person has it all together. They don’t realize that almost everybody I’ve met that has achieved a level of success has bounced around a little bit. I certainly didn’t have it all worked out in my head as to what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and how to get there. I mean, I had ideas, but I changed careers. I changed focus from political science and being lawyer to working for the government and going out on my own.

I think the message in this is anyone can achieve success in whatever it is they choose to do as long as they focus on hard work, dedication, and really a systematic plan to achieve the goals and objective that you have- and most importantly to do what you love. Don’t just do what you think you should be doing, which is what would have happened if I had become a lawyer. You have to do what you love because if you don’t do what you love, you’re not going to love what you do. I think that is a really important piece of being successful in any business that you decide.

Priscilla:
I think all of that is true, but I think you also need a little bit of talent in the field that you have chosen.

Ivan:
No question about that. It certainly helps if you have a little bit of talent in the field that you’ve chose. No question. But I’ll be honest with you. I am not always the smartest guy in the room. I’m not always the best at doing something in a group of people. But I’ll tell you what I’m almost always the best at.

Priscilla:
Knowing what you’re not good at?

Ivan:
Nope. That is a an important piece of it. I’ll tell you what I’m really good at. I’m persistent as heck.

Priscilla:
I noticed.

Ivan:
I’m like a dog with a bone. So I may not be the smartest guy in the room. I may not be the most talented guy in the room, but I’m generally the most persistent person in the room. Not necessarily in your face persistent but committed persistent. So I think you do have to have talent. There is no question about that. But you can be very successful if you are consistent and persistent at applying the talents that you do have in a way that is effective.

Take networking. I’ve been called the greatest networker in the world. That’s so not true. It really is not true. I don’t consider myself the greatest networker in the world. I am pretty good at what I do as a networker, but these are skills that are learned, not given to me. I wasn’t born with them. I think it’s that persistence and commitment to learn how to do things better because I wasn’t very good at it.

If you are listening to this podcast and are new to it, go back and find the podcast that I did on OMG I’m an Introvert. I think that might put it into perspective for you because there are a lot of things that I came into this field of networking with weaknesses not strengths but developed those. It’s one of the reasons why I have achieved some level of success.

Priscilla:
I certainly have witnessed your dedication and consistent energy, just through this podcast. We are on number 203 and that’s says something right there.

Ivan:
Yeah, like a dog with a bone.

Priscilla:
Exactly. Great.

Ivan:
I hope the listeners found this interesting because I was not going to do this topic. It was really my staff here at BNI headquarters who said no, you really need to share this with members. Drop me a note and let me know if you found this of value. Really, the overriding message here for business people is anyone can achieve a level of success. You don’t have to have anything handed to you. As a matter of fact, in many ways, I think people who are handed things end up becoming a little complacent. I think that people who have to really work at achieving something are hungrier. It’s that hunger that I see in people’s eyes, tied to talent, tied to persistence, tied to knowledge that helps to truly make people successful. I think it was that hunger and a little bit of talent that helped me build BNI into an international organization.

Priscilla:
Well great. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. I really appreciate it.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Word of mouth marketing is always working. It just may not be working in your favor.

Online networking makes it possible to stay more engaged and guide the conversation. Because of that, you have to participate.

Go to the search engines and set up alerts for your name, your company name, the title of your book or name of your products. That way you’ll know who’s talking about you and you can get in touch with them or respond on your own blog.

If you come across a complaint, a timely offer to fix the problem can turn it into an endorsement.

• Google Alerts
• Yahoo! Alerts

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 124 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. Thanks.

Priscilla:
What are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Today’s topic is People Are Talking About You; Are You in the Conversation? And it kind of stems from some material that I originally did in my book, Truth or Delusion?, and I bring up the point that word of mouth marketing is always working. Word of mouth marketing is always working. It must may not be working in your favor. And you may not be getting the kind of word of mouth you’re looking for; it may not be the kind you’re hoping, which is the good kind where people are talking positively about you.

The problem is the negative word of mouth really has legs, and the average dissatisfied customer tells ten times more people, and that’s based on studies that have been done. That was one out of the White House. Office of Consumer Affairs found that people are more likely to talk about you when they’re unhappy than when they’re happy, therefore, you have to get engaged in the process.

And with online opportunities, that’s even more important. It’s especially important to be engaged in conversation with online networking. There you have a little bit more, I don’t want to say control, because you really don’t control what is said, but you have an opportunity to engage more effectively with online networking opportunities. And we’ve talked about and had some guest speakers talking about online communications through blogs and bulletin boards. One of the things I think is really important, you have to stay engaged in that kind of conversation; you need to check out what’s going on and what’s being said about you.

And what made my really start to think about this was a number a years ago, we started getting more and more BNI groups going on LinkedIn and Ecademy, and so I had some directors who were saying, “I’m not going to participate in those.” And years ago, I said, “We’ve got to participate in those just to stay engaged in the conversation,” because if you’re not engaged in a conversation, you can’t help direct it or coach it in any way whatsoever. Sometimes the most vocal people are the people that are unhappy, and that engagement is really important.

A great example of what I’m talking about is a blog or an article that I recently saw by a good friend of mine, Dave Goetz. Dave is the publisher of SuccessNet, for our newsletter, BNISuccessNet.com. Dave is the publisher of that. He and his staff, Bernice, Bunny, do all of the heavy lifting to get SuccessNet done, and he writes articles a lot about branding and customer service. And he wrote a piece entitled, “Are They Laughing at You?” or something to that effect, which I think was really an interesting article, because he talked about a professor who was teaching a graduate level class at a university. Usually, graduate level classes are very interactive and the students get involved. When you start talking about Master’s level students, these are people who’ve – they’re out there in the workforce. They’ve got some expertise, and that’s one of the reasons why they’re much more seminal and interactive. But this particular professor just said, “Look, I’ve got content I need to go through. This is not a discussion class. I’m just going to lecture.”

Well, in this day and age, that doesn’t work; it doesn’t work in business, and it doesn’t work in the classroom. Because you know what these kids did, these young adults?

Priscilla:
What did they do?

Ivan:
They actually set up an instant messaging board, and while the professor was talking, they were all talking to each other online about what an idiot this guy is. And so, while he’s up there droning on and on and on, the very thing he said couldn’t happen was happening, and he didn’t know about it.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
And so that’s where the title of this podcast comes from, is People Are Talking About You; Are You in the Conversation?

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
It’s really important to be in the conversation.

Now, to the credit of these students, finally one of them said, “Hey, look, we can sit here and bash the professor every week for the rest of this course, which is a lot of fun, but we’re really not accomplishing what we need to accomplish.”

And so what they ended up doing was literally dialoging with each other about the topics that the professor was talking about, and he wasn’t involved in the conversation at all.

Priscilla:
Yeah, that makes sense.

Ivan:
And so although it turned into a somewhat positive experience for these students, it was because of, really, their integrity that it stayed positive, or mostly positive, as opposed to really going south.

And so the question, if you’re in business, really is, “Are people talking about you?” And it’s hard to figure that out with the face-to-face networking, but with online networking, it’s not so hard to figure out. And one of the ways that I recommend that my listeners and BNI members getting engaged in conversation is to go to Google, go to Yahoo, go to any search engines, many of them have alerts, alerts, a Google alert and a Yahoo alert. And you go to those sites and you go to the alert section, and you say every time my name, and you type in your name, every time my name is mentioned online, send me an alert. And you can set it up where you get an alert every time it happens, I usually do a daily summary. So every day I get an alert from Google and an alert from Yahoo that mentions every time my name was mentioned anywhere. And it do it for my books. I do it not only for my name, I do it for my books, I do it for BNI. So I do it for my company names, my book names, my name, I do it for certain phrases that I’m wanting to stay on top of, like business networking and social capital, so that I stay engaged in the conversation.

It’s really a lot of fun when somebody writes an article or a blog and they mention me or they mention my book or they mention BNI. I don’t get to do this every single time, so if I don’t get back to you, I apologize, but many, many times, somebody will mention me or BNI or one of my books, and I’ll get this alert. And I’ll just drop the person a note. “Hey, thanks for mentioning me in your blog or in your column.” And they’re always just shocked that I knew about it.

I even had one where a nonmember blasted a local BNI chapter about the way they were invited, and the chapter really didn’t quite handle it right. And saw this and I posted on the blog. I said, “Hey, I’m really sorry that you were treated that way.” And I apologized, “That’s not the way it’s supposed to be done, and we’ll do a little redirecting, retraining with this chapter. And I just wanted to let you know that that’s not the way that we generally do things, and I apologize for your experience.”

Well, you should have seen the next blog this woman wrote. The next blog was, “This is the way a corporation should handle a complaint, and what a great job.”

And so this is what I mean where you need to be engaged in a conversation, because if you’re not engaged in a conversation, you don’t have an opportunity to put your version of what took place out there and to support your brand, even if it’s a small brand, to support your brand and your business throughout the marketplace.

So people are talking about you; are you in the conversation?

Priscilla:
That’s great. I just want to add that I had an experience last week that showed me about negative comments and what legs they have. This woman I talked to, I had never met her before, she launched into this passionate discourse about how she had taken her dog to get him groomed, and the woman had not listened to anything she said and destroyed this dog’s fur, essentially. And she was so passionate about it and was telling me never go there or don’t ever tell anybody to go there. And I was like wow!

Ivan:
That’s my point. I call it the WHAM factor; people are more likely to talk about your business when they’re mad at it than when they happy with it. Wouldn’t it be nice if the opposite were true, if people talked about your business, if they’re happy, they talk about it as much as those who are unhappy, but generally, that doesn’t happen. We see something slightly different in BNI because we are a very structured program to go out and talk positively. But as a rule, it doesn’t really work that way in the real world. BNI is sort of an artificial construct for developing word of mouth that is a little bit different.

Priscilla:
Yeah.

Ivan:
So you’re absolutely right.

Well, I know we’re almost out of time. Just to wrap up, I would say that whether you’re networking online or face to face, the dialog is going to happen with or without you. And if your don’t participate in the conversation, particularly online, you’re not in control whatsoever. I mean, you’re never in control, but you have no opportunity to guide and coach and to bring it along. But if you do participate publically and say who you are – one of the big no-no’s in buzz marketing is to act like you’re somebody else; I would never suggest that. You go in, say who you are. And I think it’s more powerful to say, “Hey, I’m so-and-so. I’m sorry you had a bad experience,” or “Let me give you a different perspective.” I think you can help to steer the conversation in a positive direction.

Priscilla:
Well, thank you, Dr. Misner. I think that’s a fantastic little tip to give the rest of us about Yahoo and Google. I’m going to definitely do that.

Ivan:
Great.

Priscilla:
Thanks so much.

Ivan:
Thank you.

Priscilla:
I just want to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week Dr. Misner is visiting BNI chapters in Paris and Scandinavia.

To his considerable shock, Dr. Misner’s wife recently pointed out to him that he’s actually an introvert, despite his extremely public life. A little research revealed that he’s what’s known as a “situational introvert”: reserved around strangers, but very outgoing in the right context.

So it’s no surprise that BNI is perfect for situational introverts, because it creates a small group with a structured environment. Because you meet with your BNI chapter week after week, the other members are not strangers, and you can relax around them. That means that whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you can be great at networking.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 097 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan, and how are?

Ivan:
Hello. I’m doing great. I’m calling you from Paris. I’m in Paris visiting BNI chapters this week, and later this week, I’ll be going to Scandinavia to do a presentation at the Ice Hotel in Scandinavia.

Priscilla:
Oh, I’m so jealous.

Ivan:
It is fun. It’s going to be fun in Scandinavia. We’re having a great time here in Paris.

Priscilla:
So what does OMG mean?

Ivan:
All right. If you have no idea what OMG means, go ask a teenager. That’s how I learned what it meant when I was getting texts from my kids, OMG.

Okay. Well, just so we don’t offend anybody, I’m going to go with Oh, my goodness.

Now, let’s talk about the introvert thing. OMG, Oh, my goodness; I’m an Introvert. That’s the tile of today’s podcast, and let me explain.

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
My wife and I were having a really relaxing dinner one night recently, and we were sitting around the kitchen table, and we were talking when I made some offhanded comment about being an extrovert, and it fit into the context of the conversation.

She looked over at me; she said, “Honey, I hate to break it to you, but you’re an introvert.”

I smiled and said, “Yeah, sure. I’m an introvert.” It’s like insert laugh track here. “I’m an introvert, right.”

And she looked at me, and she quite earnestly said, “No, really, you’re an introvert.”

And I protested. I said, “Come on. I’m a public speaker. I do these BNI podcasts. I’m the founder of the world’s largest networking organization. I am not an introvert. I can’t be. You’re joking, right?”

And she absolutely insisted that I was an introvert, and then she proceeded to share with me all the ways that I have introverted tendencies. Well, I have to admit that I was really taken back by this, and all of the examples she gave me were really on the mark, but I still couldn’t believe I was an introvert.

On the other hand, I’d been married to her for 20 years. There’s a chance she might actually know me pretty well. So I went off the next day to do some research, and I did an Internet search, and I found a test that tells you whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. Was I in for a shock. The test said that I was a situational extrovert. It explained it, I was something of a loner, that I was a loner, that I was reserved around strangers, but that I was very outgoing in the right context.

It was at that moment that I said, “Oh, my goodness; I’m an introvert.” In the haze of my surprise, some really important things came into clarity for me. I’m 52 years old; BNI is 24 years old; and for the first time, it really struck me one of the really important reasons why I started BNI more than two decades ago. Because the bottom line was – I think most people know this story. I was a management consultant that I was looking for referrals, and I put together people that I trusted and liked, and we met and we passed referrals. Someone came who couldn’t join and asked if I’d open up a second chapter, and I said yes, and we did the second one, and that led to a third one and on and on.

But the bottom line that I never really thought about this until I took this test, I was naturally uncomfortable meeting new people, particularly at Chamber functions or other business functions. So this approach created a system that enabled me to meet people in an organized structured networking environment that did not require that I actually talk to strangers.

Priscilla:
Interesting.

Ivan:
Oh, my goodness; I’m an introvert.

Now, this is funny. If any of the listeners have ever seen me at a BNI event, I generally, when I go to regions of BNI, I ask the BNI director to have someone walk me around and introduce me to visitors and to member so that I can connect with as many people as possible. That’s what I would always tell them. But in reality, it’s because I’m uncomfortable just like anyone else, I thought. I’m uncomfortable just walking around introducing myself alone. And when I came to that realization, it’s like, oh, my goodness; I’m an introvert.

And then I realized the whole notion of the material – and I’ve talked about it in podcasts, I’ve written about it for years – the whole idea of acting like a host not a guest and volunteering to be the ambassador at a Chamber event, or be the visitor host at a BNI group. These are great ways that other people who are introverted can make sure to introduce themselves to other people in a comfortable environment. And then it struck me, “These are the ways I use to move around more comfortable at networking events, not just ways that I recommended for those poor introverts out there to network.

Oh, my goodness; I am an introvert. Who would have thought? Well, okay, besides my beautiful wife, who would have thought? Now more than ever, I truly believe that whether you are an introvert or an extrovert or a situational extrovert, you can be great at networking, both introverts and extroverts have strengths and weaknesses. If you can find ways to enhance your strengths and minimize your weaknesses, anyone can be a great networker, even an introvert like me.

Priscilla:
That’s great. Well, personally, I’ve always felt rather shy, and so I feel sort of similar to what you’re talking about. And I think you’re right, that BNI creates an atmosphere where you don’t have to worry about being shy.

Ivan:
You don’t. And I think this is really amazing, and it sort of an epiphany for me because I’ve always thought of myself as an extrovert, because I certainly come across extroverted in many situations, but in other ways – and there’s a whole laundry list of things that indicate that I’m not. I love being home. And if you look at some of my readings, particularly my blog, I talk about where’s my favorite place on the planet, home; I want to go home. When the phone rings, I don’t want to answer it; I don’t want to talk. I like to go home and spend time with my family or go up to my lodge up at Big Bear and spend time up there.

So there are a number of natural tendencies that are, in fact, introverted, but in certain situations where I feel comfortable, I come out more. But I’ve surrounded myself with an environment that’s all based on relationships. When you think about it, and this really makes sense, because I didn’t create a network that was all about big events; I created a network that was all about people getting together, getting to know each other and trust each other, and then doing business with each other.

But that’s not necessarily a high extroverted kind of approach. So it kind of all put the pieces together for me, and I think what’s important is for the average member – and those extroverts don’t care; they’re going to be out there marketing and selling, but I really want to talk to the introverts here, the people who feel shy about introducing themselves to others, the people who don’t feel comfortable, necessarily, speaking. Now, I do because I took six years of courses on speaking. Maybe that’s why I’ve gotten to be reasonably decent at it. So I did things to push myself out of that shell. But in BNI, introverts can excel because it’s all about building the relationship, and it was really an epiphany for me.

What’s really so funny is that my wife like totally knew it. She was like, “Oh, no, honey, you’re an introvert. You just act like an extrovert out there, but you’re an introvert.” She got it; I didn’t. I learned something about myself, and I hope the BNI members listening to this podcast can get something out of it as well.

Priscilla:
Well, that’s great. I just want to say that I think you have a real natural ability to talk to strangers, though.

Ivan:
Well, thank you. I appreciate that. It doesn’t come natural, I guarantee you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Well, great. Do you want to share anything else, or are we pretty much done?

Ivan:
No. I’m sure I will share some of my visits here in France and Scandinavia, being sweetened mostly. I’ll share that on my blog, so after you listen to this podcast, take some time to look at my blog at NetworkingEntrepreneur.com and I’m sure you’ll see some pictures of me at the Ice Hotel.

Priscilla:
Great, Dr. Misner. Thank you so much.

I just want to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week, Priscilla Rice interviews Dr. Ivan Misner about being out of line online. After receiving a completely inappropriate message from a stranger attacking a new member of one of the online networks he belongs to, Dr. Misner wrote an impassioned blog post and got 43 comments. Here are some highlights.

• The impersonal nature of online communications sometimes leads people to behave in ways they could never get away with in person!
• Even though you may feel very powerful because you can say things in e-mail and send it out to many people it doesn’t mean that you should or that it’s appropriate to do so!
• If this individual behaved like this at an “in-person” meeting, he’d likely be thrown out!
• Don’t tolerate this kind of behavior, online or off.
• Always consider the source when you encounter this kind of character assassination.

Read Dr. Misner’s post about being Out of Line Online at Entrepreneur.com

Listen to Priscilla Rice’s interview with Dr. Misner on Priscilla’s Podcast.

Brought to you by Networking Now. Podcast produced by Live Oak Studio in conjunction with the Podcast Asylum.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 029 -

Priscilla Rice:
Hello everybody, and welcome back to the official BNI podcast, brought to you by networkingnow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. This is Priscilla Rice coming from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California, and I’m joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. How are you, Ivan?

Ivan Misner:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. It’s wonderful having you handle our podcasts now. Thanks.

Priscilla:
This is an exciting moment for me as I am a long time BNI member.

Ivan:
Yes, and as a matter of fact, you and I did a podcast once before. You should put on this podcast a link to the podcast that I did with you.

Priscilla:
I’ll do that. Prescilla’s podcast. So where are you calling in from today, Ivan?

Ivan:
From BNI headquarters this week. Next week, I will be out of town but now I’m here in BNI headquarters in southern California.

Priscilla:
Great. I understand the you have a very interesting topic to share with us today.

Ivan:
I think it is. It actually comes from a blog that I started doing just recently for entrepreneur.com. Listeners can go to the blog .It’s called Networking Now at entrepreneur.com. It’s called “Out of Line Online”. That is the blog title that I want to talk about today. The URL is www.networkingentrepreneur.com. If listeners want to go read the blog directly, they can do that. This week I want to talk about out of line online.

Prescilla:
What does that mean exactly?

Ivan:
You know, I belong to a number of online networks. Linked in, Ryze, etc. My favorite is ecademy.com. We have a strategic alliance with them- great organization.

I recently got an e-mail from one of the members of these online networks. I don’t know this guy. I’ve never talked to him and have never directly connected to him in any way. I don’t know why he sent the letter. He sent me an e-mail, and he had sent it to many people in the community. It was about a new person who would destroy the community. In the e-mail, he said to me, a perfect stranger to him, “Letting her joint was the biggest mistake you’ll ever make. She’s a disaster. She’s totally unreliable. She’s a total liar. You have been caught.”

I said, “Wow.” I was amazed that this stranger would sent me this e-mail. The thing is that the impersonal nature of online communications sometimes leads people to behave in ways that they could never get away with in person. There are social morays that are easily bypassed when you are not looking someone in the eyes.

Whether you are dealing with face to face networking or online networking, the basics of etiquette and emotional intelligence still apply. You have to be aware that when you’re communicating on the internet, you are still dealing with real people. Even though you may feel really powerful because you can say things and send them out a lot of people, it doesn’t mean you should or that it’s appropriate to do so. I’m sure you’ve seen something like this. It happens all the time.

Priscilla:
I have seen that. I’ve also seen sometimes people put in capitalization statements they are making in the e-mail and it makes it kind of intense when you read it. It’s maybe a bit more than what they intended.

Ivan:
Yes. And sometimes through an e-mail, you just don’t get the inflection and things do come across the way they may not be meant. This guy meant it. He was quite clear. A lot of people don’t know that when you put these in caps, you’re supposed to be yelling or raising your voice, so they may do it by accident.

This was no accident with this guy. On the blog, this is probably the most aggressive I have ever been about any writing that I have ever published. Right on the blog, I said that the ignoramus who sent me this e-mail would never have this if he had to talk about this person personally to all the people including all the strangers that he emailed. But he could do it behind the relative safety of the internet and unfortunately, that’s one of the weaknesses of this powerful medium.

Priscilla:
And I heard that some of the people on your block commented on your entry. What did they say?

Ivan:
They had a lot of things to say. One last point before we go to them, if this individual talked like that in an in-person meeting, they would throw his butt out of that meeting so fast. But online he can get away with it because I think people have just become so disconnected with reality that they get this false sense of power.

I did get a lot of comments. As a matter of fact, I have more comments on this one blog than any other blog that I have done. One of the last ones that was posted as hysterical because in my blog, I say that I responded to this guy and I said to him, “I don’t know who you are. And I don’t know who this is that you’re talking about. The e-mail that you are sending me tells me a lot about you, and I don’t want this kind of slanderous communication.”

I was really surprised at his response. In his response he said, “I don’t know who you are, and I don’t talk to nobodies.”

Of course, the first thing I did was say, “I don’t think I’m a nobody.”

Then all of a sudden, I thought maybe it’s good to be a nobody to a nutcase like this. One of the responses was that you sometimes feel like a nobody until a batty responds to you or something like that. I thought that was really hysterical. There were a lot of great responses. I don’t know if you had a chance to take a look at it yourself.

Prescilla:
I did look at it.

Ivan:
Almost everyone said that this behavior was appalling and that it would be completely unacceptable. There were a number of BNI people who responded said that in an organization with a code of ethics, this kind of behavior would never be tolerated and that’s what you can get away with online.

Priscilla:
Did the person that he wrote badly about say anything to you?

Ivan:
I didn’t know her. I didn’t pass it on her because I knew for a fact that it would be passed on to her, and it was. Somebody told me that it was. I was really impressed, as was the person who passed on to her, with her response. She took it very well and basically said, “Consider the source. I’m sorry that you had to receive that.” She handled it very, very professionally which again tells me a lot about her- and a lot about him.

Priscilla:
I’m glad she didn’t take offense because it can be very painful to receive something like that, to have people talk about you in that way, in a negative way and out into the public.

Ivan:
You’re right. One of the respondents on the blog said don’t mud wrestle with a pig. You’ll only end up muddy- and besides, the pig likes it. I thought this was great.

I would love to have any of the listeners to the podcast go to the blog. It is called “Out of Line Online”. That particular blogs admission went up on October 30. Take a look at networkingentrepreneur.com and “Out of Line Online”.I would love to see your comments on that as well. Even though in BNI we’re not about online networking, I do think online networking is a powerful tool. I recommend it to members. To take a look at the blog when you get a chance.

Priscilla:
Great. Thank you so much, Ivan, for that. I think it’s a very important message. and I think that there are probably a lot of listeners out there who’ve had bad experiences in the past who might want to share what they have been through with you on the blog.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Prescilla:
Anything else you’d like to add before we close?

Ivan:
No, just if you get a chance, go to the blog. I would love to hear your feedback on this. I think the listeners will enjoy taking a look not only at the blog but at all of the responses. I am sure that almost all of us have experienced something similar to this.

Priscilla:
Great. Thanks, Ivan. This podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. This is Prescilla Rice and we will see you next week on the official BNI podcast with Dr. Ivan Misner. Thanks so much.

His October 8th Blog At www.NetworkingEntrepreneur.com

A Meeting He Had With Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup For The Soul) Where They Talked About The Idea Of An “Act As If. . . ” Party That A BNI Group Was Interested In Conducting

The Blog On This Topic Can Be Found At This Entrepreneur URL: Act As If Party Blog

BNI Chapters Should Try This Idea At Their Meetings!

Listen To This Podcast For Information On How Your BNI Group Can Do An Act As If.. Party!

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 028 -

Frank Felker:
Hello everybody and welcome back to the official BNI podcast, brought to you by networkingnow.com, the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I�m Frank Felker in Washington DC joined on the phone today by Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Where are you calling in from today?

Ivan Misner:
I am at BNI headquarters this week, Frank. Next week, I will be in Dallas Texas, but I am actually in town this week.

Frank:
That�s great. There is nothing like sleeping in your own bed. I understand you have a very interesting topic to talk to us about today. Just go for it. I�m fascinated by it.

Ivan:
Today, I want to talk about the blog article that I did at my blog site with entrepreneur.com. For the listeners, if you would like to see the entire blog go to www.networkingentrepreneur.com. That�s one word. You can see my entire blog. This is an entry that I did that on October 8.

In the transcript of this podcast, we will try to link straight to this article for this blog entry if it’s possible. The blog entry is all about the concept that Jack Canfield came up with in Success Principles. I just spent, last week, a couple of days in Jack Canfield�s home in southern California.

I was participating in a strategic planning session for an organization that I belong to called the Transformational Leadership Council. It�s an organization he founded about four years ago. It�s for trainers and what you call spot leaders, people who are changing or transforming the world in some way. He invited me to be a member of this organization.

One of my executive directors for BNI knew that I was going to be there and she asked me to talk to Jack and to give him a great question that I thought would make a great topic for this podcast and for the blog. In Jack�s latest book, Success Principles, one of the things that he recommends is that people create an event where they act “as if…”

It�s called an act as if party. The idea is that you act as if you are the person that you have aspired to be five years from now. It�s a great concept. You do this act as if party and you come to the party dressed the way you think you would be dressing five years from now and talking about the things that you believe you�ll be talking about five years from now, having accomplished things that you think you will have accomplished five years from now.

I think it is really powerful, and I talk about this on the blog, but what I thought I would do on this podcast is suggest to all of the listeners that you actually do this at BNI as a meeting stimulant at one of the BNI chapter meetings.

I would give them a week or two to prepare. Throw it out there and ask everyone to act as if it�s five years from now. Come to the next meeting and in your 60-second presentation, talk about where your business is today, i.e., five years from now. I think it�s powerful as a meeting stimulant.

Frank:
That�s a great idea. Let�s hope the five years from now hemlines go back to where they were in the sixties.

Ivan:
There may be some people who don�t agree with that, Frank, but I will give no comment. Let�s see. One of the things that I asked Jack when I saw him last week was if he had any comments on how to do this. What is the best way to do it?

He said that it�s really important to come dressed as the person that you want to be five years from now. And in making this idea work best, come with props. The more props you have, the better. Here is something that I thought was great. He suggested that you video record it.

Frank:
That�s a great idea. You almost “time capsule” it then.

Ivan:
Exactly. He said it is really powerful to video record it and then a year or two from now, look at it and ask if you�re making progress towards achieving this. You are really creating a vision of where you want to go so that five years from now, you watch that and see just how closely you came to achieving it.

He felt that by making sure that you envision it, you can more effectively attach it to where you are headed with your business. Create a story around the person that you want to be. Be sure to record the vision during the event so that you can strive to achieve that story that you created.

Frank:
That�s a great concept. I would love to do that. It�s almost like a costume party.

Ivan:
It is almost like a costume party, and I think it�s a fun exercise. On the blog, I just recommend that people do it as a party which is in his book. But for this podcast, I really urge the listeners to take this transcript back to their chapter and talk to the chapter members- particularly the chapter president- about doing a special meeting stimulant that is an act as if meeting.

Do that at one of the next meetings. This is really important � if you do it, please come back to the podcast under the bulletin board section and post what you thought of the idea and how it worked out for you chapter. We would really like to see your response.

Frank:
I would really like to both attend one and speak to someone who has been to one because it just sounds like such a great concept. Sounds to be a lot of fun, too.

Ivan:
It�s a lot of fun, and I think it will help members to get a sense not only of where they want to go as an individual and professionally but where their fellow members want to go. That is really powerful, I think, in building relationships with fellow BNI members.

Frank:
I do too. I think that�s a grand idea. I can�t wait to hear some postings from some people have done something about it.

Ivan:
If you come up with some great ideas, I promise you that I will tell Jack personally. I see him several times a year, and I�ll make sure that he knows about your success with it.

Frank:
Well, we�re just about out of time for this week�s podcast. Do you have any last pearl of wisdom about an act as if party?

Ivan:
Again, the more you can come with props, dress the part, and really speak as though you are where you are at, that�s the best way to make the act as if party work. We would love to hear your feedback from those of you listening to this by you posting up here at www.BNIpodcast.com. Thanks a lot, Frank.

Frank:
That�s great, great stuff, Ivan. Thank you. For Dr. Ivan Misner, I�m Frank Felker saying we�ll see you next week on the official BNI podcast.