Dr. Misner’s secret to creating balance in your life is this: “Forget about balance. You’ll never have it.”

The good news is that harmony in your life is possible. “Balance” assumes equal time on everything that’s important. Harmony is not balanced, but it’s complete as a whole.

Here are some keys to a life that’s in harmony.

• Be Here Now
• Set time aside for the things that really matter.
• Find ways to integrate different parts of your life
• When you’re 70 years old, you’re not going to wish you spent more time at the office

Harmony is created where harmony is sought. What do you do to create harmony in your life? Leave a comment and let us know.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 136 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from the beautiful Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. I’ve got a fun topic today.

Priscilla:
What’s that?

Ivan:
The Secret to Balance.

Priscilla:
Great.

Ivan:
I think this is a great topic for the beginning of a new year. People – the year is starting up, and they’re thinking about their lives, and so I thought this would be a really good topic to cover. Because personal and professional balance in our lives seems to be the ever elusive dream for many business people in trying to balance home, work, health, spirituality, free time seems almost impossible, something that business people have told me for years.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
Well, I’m really pleased to tell you that I think I’ve found the answer to creating balance in your life. Are you ready for this, Priscilla?

Priscilla:
Yes, please.

Ivan:
Write this down; here it is. Forget about balance; you’ll never have it!

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
I spoke at a conference once, and they were asking me about balance, and I said that publicly. And I heard this woman from the front row go, “Oh, no!” She was so upset, “No balance, that can’t be; it’s not right.” But there is good news. Although I don’t think balance is possible, I do believe you can create harmony in your life, and this differentiation is more than just semantics. It’s really a critical approach to looking at life that can free you up to see the world in a different way.

Balance assumes that we spend an equal amount of time in all or most areas of our life. It’s like the image of the scales where everything is completely in balance and equal, and it assumes that we have to have a certain portion of each week devoted in some equal measure to every item that’s important in our life. Well, the problem with that is that almost no one can really achieve that, especially entrepreneurs and professionals and sales people. We tend to live such hectic, busy lives that it’s incredibly difficult to fit it all in.

So what do we do about it? For me, it’s about creating harmony. Just look at the image that represents harmony. It’s a swirling circle, and it seems – by its very nature, it looks like it’s out of balance if you’re just looking at one-half of it or the other half of it. Even its image is lopsided when you look at one aspect at a time. But the whole feels complete, and this is the way to look at the issue. At least it’s the way that I’ve looked at it that’s really worked for me.

Sometimes I work crazy, long hours for days in a row or I may be on the road traveling for business for many days at a time. On the other hand, I’m also a husband and a father, and I need and I want to be there for my family as well as have time for myself. And long ago, I figured out that the daily balance is almost impossible, and I found that, however, I create harmony using a few core principles. So I thought I’d share in the remaining time some of those principles with everyone, and I think this is really important because we’re trying to spend time networking and doing all of our other business activities and have a family life, and some kind of harmony is really important. And there’s three things that I want to share with the BNI members on what works for me personally.

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
First, three simple words that make a huge difference for me: Be here now. Be here now. Wherever you are, be there. If you’re at work, don’t think about the time you didn’t spend with the family the night before or what you should be doing with your significant other right now. When you’re at home, don’t think about the work you have to do at the office. Wherever you are, be there fully and completely. It’s a simple technique that is really effective. It takes practice, but if you can focus on being wherever it is that you are at, rather than be thinking about someplace else that you should be at and other things you should be doing, it really helps.

Second, make sure you set time aside to do all the things that are truly, truly important in your life. Now, I know, everybody says that. But here’s my twist. You have to be creative about how you manage this. For example, when I wrote my first book, I didn’t want to be holed up in my office writing in the evening and not be available to my family, so I found a creative way to find the time that was in harmony with my family. A few evenings a month, I’d up with the family, I’d pray everyone to bed, and then I’d go into my office and I’d start writing at 11:00 or 12:00 at night. I’d work almost all night long on my manuscript. I’d catch a few hours of sleep, and I’d get into the office maybe a little late to start my day, but I’m, believe it or not, a late-night person, which is crazy for a guy who started BNI. Now, this may not work for everyone, but it worked really well for me, and what was really exciting was nothing pleased me more when I showed my kids the book that I had just published and they said to me, “When did you write that?” They had no idea I was up working late at night several times a month, and that was a way to create harmony, finding time that wouldn’t pull away from family time.

Here’s a third idea. Find ways to integrate various elements of you life. For many years, I spent weeks at a time up at my lake home in the mountains, and I’ve talked about that in previous podcasts. Each year I spend a week or two working from the lake house remotely. I bring up staff. I bring up my management team for short retreats or holidays. I bring them up for BNI meetings. Later this week I’m taking everybody up there from the BNI management team, and we’re going to spend several days doing some strategic vision making for the organization. It’s a great way to combine my work life into a leisure environment. And then, of course, when I do this over the summer, I take the last week or so completely off and spend time just with family. And it’s one way that I’m able to integrate my two worlds and create a sense of harmony.

Now, these ideas don’t necessarily – they’re not going to work for everybody; they don’t work necessarily for everyone, but if you can find concepts that work for you to be creative on how you spend your time and how you can create harmony in your life, you’re going to feel more balanced or more in harmony with your work.

One last thing. When you’re 70 years old, you’re not going to wish you spent more time at the office, and you don’t have to be a workaholic to be successful. I am not a workaholic. I work long hours, but I also focus on creating harmony in my life. You can do it. Be creative. Don’t try to do things that I do or that someone else does. Find ideas that work for you and the life you live. Make the time to do the things that are important to you in being innovative. Harmony is created where harmony is sought. Okay, maybe that’s a little bit New Age-y, but it’s really true.

And I’d love to hear from BNI members on what they think about this approach and what they do to create harmony in their lives. So leave a comment on this podcast and let me and others who are reading or listening to this podcast know what has worked for you, because I am a firm believer that you can have a successful business and not be a workaholic. And networking is a key element of that, but you have to spend your time doing other things as well.

That’s it for this week, Priscilla. Thank you.

Priscilla:
That was great. I especially like the “Be here now” concept. It’s so important, and I love hearing about it.

Ivan:
Yeah, and it’s not an easy one. Sometimes you sit there and you’re thinking, “Gee, I should be doing this” or “I didn’t do that last night,” and you just have to remind yourself, “Be here now; wherever I am, I’ve got to be here and focus on this so that when I do get home tonight, I’m focused on spending time with my family.” Or when you go home, don’t be thinking about the work projects that you’ve got to do. Be at home. If you have projects that need to be done, find some creative time to work on it, like I do, from home. Sometimes later in the evening when everybody’s in bed, then I’ll start to work on some stuff.

Be here now. Great concept. That one, I think, can work for everybody.

Priscilla:
Yeah, I think so, too. Not everybody has a beautiful house in Big Bear.

Ivan:
No, but, you know, I didn’t have a beautiful house in Big Bear when I started doing this. It would be maybe I would rent a place in the summer for a week and that would be it. Or I would just take time at home, so that’s why I say, “Don’t do what I do; take the concept and apply it to where you’re at.” Because I used these techniques long before I had a lake house. I would find ways to be creative in the environment that I had at my fingertips. And so take these ideas and apply them to you. That’s what I did, and it’s helped me to evolve over time to be more successful.

Priscilla:
Great! Well, thank you. Okay, I guess that’s it, huh, Dr. Misner?

Ivan:
Yep. Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
You’re welcome.

I just want to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

In this episode, Dr. Misner wants to talk about learning to rely on the people who respect, admire, and love you. Who are these people? Members of your support network fall into 8 categories.

1. Your mentors
2. People you have mentored
3. People you have helped
4. Your co-workers, colleagues, associates, classmates
5. Your family and close friends
6. Other members of non-business groups
7. Your former managers, supervisors, and instructors
8. Spiritual leaders and advisors

Is there anyone you would add to this list? Share your experiences with your support network in the comments on the blog.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 123 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
What are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Today I am going to talk about your support network, the people who help you and support you in any number of ways.

Priscilla:
Great.

Ivan:
Whether you are a master networker or you are new to networking, we all face challenging situations at times, and sometimes we need to rely on the help and encouragement of others. I am a big believer of learning to rely on the people who respect, admire, and love you. Theirs are the purest motives for helping you, they are genuinely interested in you, mostly accepting of you, and will usually do what they can to help you achieve any goals.

Now, they may not have all the knowledge or information you need or the ability to bring you new clients, but if you direct their willing efforts, they can give you emotional, physical, spiritual, financial support. The gifts of time can be a really valuable resource, and members of your support component can help you at crucial times of your business. They can perform essential tasks; they can encourage you, work with you, help you deal with an emergency, serve as a sounding board for your ideas.

I have seen that in BNI a lot. Even fill in for you for a couple of hours if you need them for something. To make the most of this resource, it is important to learn about their talents, their knowledge, and contacts that these friends and supporters may have to offer. I wanted to take a few minutes to categorize your support network members, who they are.

Priscilla:
Okay.

Ivan:
There are eight of them in total. The first one is your mentors. People who are or who have been your mentors, generally believe in you, care about you and your success, and can be counted on for honest feedback and encouragement.

The second, people you have taught or mentored. These people are usually excited to hear from you and will remind you about how much they appreciate your support. They also open doors to business opportunities by constantly spreading positive word-of-mouth about you.

The third is people you have helped. People remember people who have done something for them. So can you identify people to whom you have donated money, time, or other gifts? They’ll also go out of their way to help support you when you need it.

The fourth is your coworkers, colleagues, associates, and/or classmates. Friends you have made in the course of your school and your career are often friends for life. You know, like and respect each other. Of course, you may have been reluctant to call upon a friend for help because you don’t want to admit you need it, but don’t let your ego get in the way. Use these sources. A true friend will be eager to help and won’t think any less of you nor make you feel diminished for asking.

Five, your family and close friends. I talk about this one in the 29% Solution. You may take your family and personal friends for granted, but they are perhaps your most reliable source of support. Keep in mind, however, that some may be more reliable than others.

Number six, other members of non-business groups. These are people who you have worked with outside of business, members of Neighborhood Watch groups, apartment associations, community youth programs, people that may be willing to support you in activities outside the group’s normal scope. Join, participate, donate generously your time, money, let others help you and your endeavors, people who you have known in other non-business groups.

Your former managers, supervisors, and instructors, number seven. These people are often familiar with your work habits, your ethics, your values, your character, abilities, interests. They know what it takes to get your to perform at your highest level. Often, like surrogate parents, they feel responsible for your success. Should you take advantage of this parental instinct? Of course. Work with people who have mentored you in the past.

And eighth, any spiritual leaders or church leaders that you may have, members of organizations that you belong to that are spiritual in nature. If you belong to a religious organization, you are bonded to each other through that shared faith. It would be a mistake not to seek the backing of these leaders or other member. If, on occasion, you need them, don’t hesitate to use the support of services and groups like that.

Those are the eight categories of support network members that I think members of BNI should consider, and anyone who is trying to build a network should consider if you have some challenges and you need feedback or help in some way. Think about the people who might fit into these categories. They are great people to be part of your support network.

Priscilla:
Great, Dr. Misner. Thank you. Is there anything special that you would like to add to that?

Ivan:
I think if we had some BNI members who have listened to this podcast, I would love for them to add to this list, either experiences that they have had in one of these eight or if they think there is one I missed. I would love for them to share that with the other members here in the Comments section of the podcast. Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Oh, you’re welcome. Thank you.

Well, I think that is the end of this podcast. I’d like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Ponder Pearls is a thought for the day program available free to BNI podcast listeners. Dr. Misner has been writing for this program. The program contains a remarkable array of positive quotes from well-known authors, sacred texts, public figures, and entrepreneurs. Examples of Dr. Misner’s quotes: “Success is the uncommon application of common knowledge” and “Networking is more about farming than it is about hunting.”

Go to the Ponder Pearls website and use the gift code “BNI” to register for free. Then leave a comment here to let Dr. Misner what you think about the service.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 113 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Doing great, Priscilla. Last week I was in Japan; this week I’m in Australia for the BNI conference in Australia, and I’m looking forward to it. It’s later this week, and I’m sure I’ll come back with lots of great stories about my visit Down Under; some really great chapters in Australia that have been operating for a long time.

Priscilla:
So what do you have to share with us?

Ivan:
Well, this week I want to talk about something that’s available to all BNI members; it’s called Ponder Pearls, and it’s all about a Thought for the Day program that I’m participating in, and I have a gift for all BNI members.

Priscilla:
What’s that?

Ivan:
Last year I started writing for a great company called Ponders and Principles, which publishes a thought a day software program called Ponder Pearls, and I’d like to offer all my podcast listeners a free Ponder Pearl subscription. That’s always a good price, isn’t it?

Priscilla:
Absolutely!

Ivan:
It is free, totally free. Ponder Pearls can be installed on any personal computer, and each day, a positive, entertaining, and inspiring thought is delivered to you, as an individual, via a small window that pops up on the bottom right-hand corner on your computer monitor when you download the program and participate in it.

The program contains really a remarkable array of categorized thought series ranging from content by best selling authors such as Brian Tracy and yours truly, number of my books are quoted, to sacred world texts. And you can also choose from a variety of themes such as innovators and entrepreneurs, sports coaches, athletes, public figures, and many, many more. They even have a program called Bafflers where they ask a question, and if you want to see the answer to it, you click onto it for the answer. Today’s Baffler was: What is the most plentiful metal in the earth’s crust? The answer is: aluminum.

So you can sign up for a Baffler, which is an unusual question. Or you can sign up for a Thought for the Day, which includes a number of quotes that I’ve done as well as many, many other people.

Priscilla:
Can you give us an example of one of the quotes?

Ivan:
Sure, a lot of the things I talk about from some of my books like: Success is the uncommon application of common knowledge. Or: Networking is more about farming that it is about hunting; it’s about cultivating relationships with other business professionals. Or: Its’ not what you know or who you know; it’s how well you know them that really counts in business.

These are some of my quotes that are on Ponder Pearls. And of course, there are many others including various religious texts as well as public figures and other people. You get to pick; you get to pick who you want to have the quote of the day come from. And you can change it up; it doesn’t have to be the same all the time. And did I mention it’s free!?

Priscilla:
Yeah. How long is it free for, Ivan?

Ivan:
Permanently.

Priscilla:
Really?

Ivan:
There are some more expanded programs that you can get, but the service, I do believe they have a fee for, but the service that I’m describing right now is completely free. I’ve been subscribed for more than a year, more than a year, and they’ve never asked me for any money whatsoever for this service. So it’s a great little service. And for BNI members, particularly leadership people who have to do quotes or asked to do quotes at the end of every BNI meeting, it’s a great little service to get various quotes to wrap up a BNI meeting.

So basically, there are hundreds of excerpt thoughts from my books and seminars as well as many other people, and I’m even in the process of sending in more content to be distributed over time.

So BNI directors and members who love this kind of concept should go to PonderPearls.com, PonderPearls.com. And I invite you to take advantage of the free subscription. Once you go to that Web site, PonderPearls.com, you want to enter this as the gift code. If you enter this code, you will get the service for free. The code is really complicated to remember: BNI. That’s it; just those three letters. Enter “BNI” in the gift code field under the blue Ponder Pearls logo banner, and then create your own free Ponder Pearls account following the prompts, which include downloading the software that will then, every morning, send you the quote of the day automatically. So when you start up your computer each day or first thing in the morning, it will just automatically pop up with your quote.

It’s a great little service. I really like it. Everybody who’s signed up for it has thanked me and really enjoyed it. And what I would love to put out to everyone is, when you’ve tried it, drop me a note here on BNIPodcast.com and let me know what you think about the service. And I hope BNI members all around the world enjoy it and use it.

Priscilla:
Great, Ivan. Well, thank you so much. Is there anything else you’d like to share before we close this podcast?

Ivan:
Nope. I would just love to get comments from members. As you use this, just drop me a little note here and tell me what quote you liked and how you’re going to use this material, and that would be wonderful.

Thank you, Priscilla:

Priscilla:
Okay, good.

All right, listeners, I just want to remind you that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week Dr. Misner addresses a question a BNI member asked him: “What do you do stay on track?” Ivan sums his formula for success up in these quotable phrases:

1. Success is the uncommon application of common knowledge. (For example, Ivan Misner did not create networking; he focused it.)
2. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
3. What you do thunders above your head so loudly I cannot hear you speak.
4. You may not be able to make a world of difference, but you can make a difference in the world.

Don’t forget the search function on this podcast site. Enter a search term into the search box at the top, and you’ll see every episode where Dr. Misner has addressed that subject.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 081 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables.

I’m Priscilla Rice, and I’m coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California , and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:
I’m doing great, Priscilla. I just got back from Cleveland, Ohio, where I did a big BNI event. It’s always great to go visit the regions of BNI. They really recharge my battery to have a chance to talk to them.

Priscilla:
That’s great. Well, what are you planning to share with us?

Ivan:
Well, I’m going to share a question that was asked of me just recently in one of my visits to a BNI region, where somebody stood up and – we opened it up for questions, and the gentlemen stood up and he said, “What do you do to stay on track, to help achieve your goals, to stay focused on what you’re doing? What are the things that you think about in life and in business to help keep you going and staying on track?”

That was sort of his question. I came up with four points right then and there that I thought might be interesting for other people who want to sort of assess how they can achieve a level of success within their business, sort of hear what I do, and maybe some of it will resonate with them.

Priscilla:
What are they?

Ivan:
Well, here’s the first one that I told him.

**Success is the uncommon application of common knowledge.

That’s a phrase that was in my book, Masters of Success.

For BNI members, if you haven’t seen that, I really recommend that you take a look at the book, Masters of Success. It’s probably one of the most interesting books for me to write. I really enjoy doing it because I had contributing authors like Buzz Aldrin, Erin Brockovich, Brian Tracy, Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Tony Robbins, and some very successful people. And I think the one thing I’ve learned, and I’ve talked about this in other podcasts – while I’m talking about this, I just really discovered – I feel silly to say this – I just discovered the “search” function on this podcast. So if you’re listening to this, there’s some topic you find of interest, punch in the topic under the “search” button at the top, and you can find all the places where I talked about that particular subject. I think that’s really good for members who want to go deep and understand one subject or another.

I know I talked a little bit about this in a previous podcast, in The Uncommon Application, Common Knowledge. We all know what it takes to be successful. We really do. If you go to a successful person and ask them, “What’s your secret to success,” they’re not going to tell you something you don’t already know. You know it. So, to me, it’s the uncommon application of common knowledge. That’s the first thing that helps to keep me on track. I know that there’s no magic pill or secret out there. It’s a matter of taking what I know and what other people know and applying it with an uncommon system or an uncommon commitment. That’s the first thing.

Priscilla:
Can you give us just one example?

Ivan:
Well, sure. A great example is I didn’t create networking. Networking was out there way before me. What I did is I took this concept and I focused it with this laser-like focus on creating a program around a system that meets regularly, and there’s training involved, and we’re very myopic. So, anybody can take a concept and with a lot of work and creating a system and an uncommon commitment can create tremendous success out of it.

If you look, in Masters of Success, I talk about the founder of Chick-Fil-A and how he didn’t create a formula for the human genome; he just had a recipe for a chicken sandwich, and he marketed it like crazy. That’s it. And it took a lot of work in his own system and a simple recipe, and he created this really successful business.

So there’s many examples of it that are in Masters of Success. But the uncommon application, common knowledge is the first one.

The second one that I shared with this gentleman was something that my mother gave me as a letter opener when I was in high school. And I carried this thing with me in every office I ever had my entire life. I got it when I was probably 16 or 17 years old. It ended up breaking about 15 or 20 years ago. If you go into my office in my home, on my desk, right there, is a paperweight that says this. It’s the same quote that my mother gave me 30-some years ago.

**Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.

I love that phrase. And for somebody who’s maybe a little bit assertive – and I might be just a little bit assertive. My mother got that when I was a kid. I was running for a student body position, an ASB position when I was in high school, and she said this with great love.

She said, “Honey, I love you, but the truth is you’re not going to get elected to dog catcher if you don’t learn how to work with people. You’ve got to work with people, and you can’t just tell them, ‘It’s this way or the highway.’ You’ve got to learn how to be diplomatic.”

And she gave me this letter opener, which I literally kept for many, many, many years until it broke. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way. You can guide; you can coach; you can work with people, but you can’t make people do something. That advice was so good for me, because in working with entrepreneurs, you can’t make an entrepreneurs do anything they don’t want to do. You can’t. It’s like herding cats. And I’ve got 110,000 of them.

My guess is that people listening to this, that can resonate with you. Your clients are probably very much the same way. So, you can’t make people do things they don’t want to do. You’ve got to learn how to work with them, guide them, and take them in a direction. And that’s what diplomacy is all about. So, it’s one of the things I’ve sort of lived by in my life.

Priscilla:
What’s number three?

Ivan:
Number three is a spin on another phrase, walking the talk. You’ve got to walk the talk. I love this variation of it better.

**What you do thunders above your head so loudly I cannot hear the words you speak.

And I have this in the book, Givers Gain. What you do thunders above your head so loudly I cannot hear the words you speak. You’ve got to walk the talk. If you’re telling other people to show up on time, you should show up on time. If you’re telling other people to be prepared for their presentations, you need to be prepared for your presentations.

I do this a lot with BNI directors. I say, “If you’re expecting members to do something, you have to be able to do the same just as well or better.” And I think if you take it down to the BNI member level, then we’re really saying that you should have the same expectations of yourself as you have of your fellow members, and you should be able to do the things that you expect others to do as well, because “What you do thunders above your head so loudly I cannot hear the words you speak” is a real powerful concept that helps keep me on track professionally and personally.

Priscilla:
That’s a great phrase. I like that.

Ivan:
And the last one is one that I’ve been thinking about a lot over the years. We get out of college and we think we’re going to just light a fire and change the world and have these huge impacts. We find that we’re one person of several billion on the planet, and you look back, you’re in your 50s – I’m 52 years old at the time of this recording – you look back and you say, “Have I changed things as much as I had hoped to change them?” I’ve kind of come to the conclusion – and I sat on a board and we sort of brainstormed some phrases for this non-profit organization. This gentleman and I came up with a phrase that I think really represents how I feel, just the average person can impact the world, and that is:

**You may not be able to make a world of difference, but you can make a difference in the world.

I’d like to think that what I’ve done has made a lot of little differences in many people’s lives, and for all of us, it’s important to look back and say, “What little things have we done to help change other people’s lives?” And I’ve got to tell you, one simple thing is, if you’re just coming to BNI meetings regularly and you’re helping your fellow members and you’re giving them referrals on a regular basis, you’re changing their lives. You’re helping them succeed in their business. And now, more than ever, that’s really, really important; and it’s something, I think, that helps me keep on track for my business and my life.

Priscilla:
It’s the Givers Gain part of it. It’s the beautiful aspect of BNI.

Ivan:
Yeah, it really is the Givers Gain, the idea that if I help you, you’ll help me. We could all make a difference that way. It’s one of the reasons why the theme for BNI this year – and it’s a theme that we will be carrying on, I think, for many, many years to come. It won’t be our annual theme, but it’s a phrase we’re going to use for many years to come. We just got a registered trademark on it. And that is: Change the way the world does business.

I really believe that BNI is, in its own way, slowly but surely changing the way the world does business by teaching business people how to work together to build their business. I think that BNI is a classic example of the sum of the whole being greater than the individual parts. That happens with a lot of people doing a little work.

Priscilla:
Right, I agree with you. I think it’s a wonderful tool for making a difference in the world.

Ivan:
Well, thanks. He asked me that question about staying on track with my goals and my direction in business and life. That’s what I came up with off the cuff, and one of my staff people took some notes and said, “This would make a great podcast.” That’s why we’re doing this today.

Priscilla:
That’s nice. Okay. Well, I think we’ve come to the end of our time, unless you’d like to add anything else.

Ivan:
No, that covers it. Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay, that’s great. Thank you, Dr. Misner.

Well, I’d like to just remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, the leading site on the Net for networking downloadables. Thanks so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Today’s podcast is based on a blog post Dr. Misner wrote this summer. As business professionals, we need to make sure we take time to notwork, not just time to network. Dr. Misner spends three or four weeks every year at his lodge in Big Bear with his family because he believes success is about having time to spend in a place you love with people you love.

But if you’re looking for balance and you own a business, forget about it. Strive for harmony instead of balance. Remember the phrase Be Here Now.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcription of BNI Podcast Episode 077 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone, and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for working dowloadables.

I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkley, California, and I am joined on the phone today by the founder and the chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner.

Hello, Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
Doing great.

Priscilla:
And where are you?

Ivan:
I’m in Cleveland this week visiting BNI groups and having a great time. The best part of my job is to meet BNI members around the world. So, this week is in Cleveland.

Priscilla:
Well, great. Tell us about this topic. What do you have to share with us?

Ivan:
This topic really began in the summer. I wrote an article, a blog over the summer about this, and I thought it would be great. Somebody suggested, actually, that I share it on my podcast. It’s different that any podcast that anyone has heard me do, because I’m usually talking just about business or mostly about networking, but this one is about not working, not working instead of networking, which is sometimes good. People have heard me say for years say, “It’s not called Net sitter or Net eat; it called Net work.” And effective networking is all about learning how to network the network that you’ve developed effectively and appropriately. But I also believe that there are times to not work, and I think that many times entrepreneurs, salespeople, professionals don’t fully engage and understand that. I’m pretty confident that when I’m 70 years old, I’m not going to be sitting back saying, “I wish I spent more time at the office.”

So I believe that we entrepreneurs, business professionals, and salespeople need to make sure to take time to not work, not network but to not work. I do some of my best not working at my lodge in Big Bear. I’ve got a place up at Big Bear, California. I’ve done some of these podcasts from Big Bear. We have a tradition that each family member gets to pick two things that we’re going to do together during the time that we’re up there. And we’re usually up there three to four weeks, of which I’m working two to three weeks, and I take a week or two off where I don’t. I work from up there, but then I take time off up there.

We take two items each person, and we type it up. As each item is completed, the family member puts his or her initials next to it, and we post it on the refrigerator. We now have almost ten years of these things posted on the refrigerator, and it’s kind of fun for the family to go up – and we go up there fairly often – and to look at the things that we had done for part of our vacations over the years. Some of them are things like – this year, my son chose a mental health day. We hang around the house, watch TV, read, play games, mostly just veg out.

And I think it’s that kind of thing that recharges people’s batteries. And it’s important for us, as business professionals, to say from time to time, “Hey, you know what? Life is not just business. There are other things.” And success for many people, it comes to many people in different ways. To me, success is about having time to spend in a place I love with the people I love, and that’s what success is to me. I talk about this in a book that I wrote called Masters of Success, and it’s about having the time and the ability to do the things that I want to do, not just the things that I have to do. For me, family and travel and charitable causes are the things that bring balance or harmony in my life.

On that subject, Priscilla, would you like to know really the secret for creating balance in your life as a business professional?

Priscilla:
Absolutely.

Ivan:
Are you ready?

Priscilla:
Yes, I’m ready.

Ivan:
All right. For those listening, pull out a pen and write this down. Are you ready? Here it goes.

If you’re looking for balance in your life and you own a business, forget about it; it’s never going to happen.

Priscilla:
I thought you were going to say, “Do nothing.”

Ivan:
A good friend of mine, James Ray, talks about this, and he got me thinking about this concept of harmony versus balance. We, as business professionals, are going to be out of balance throughout much of our life. We have a mission. We have a vision. There are things we want to do. We want to achieve something with our business. So life is not perfectly balanced. I don’t spend 30 percent of my time working, 30 percent of my time with my family, and 30 percent of my time sleeping. You can’t do that every day successfully and run a business. But what you can create is harmony.

You can create harmony. It’s more than just semantics. There are times when I’m crazy busy where I’m traveling, like now when I’m on the road and I don’t have time to spend with my family. If my entire life was like that, if my entire life was out of balance, we, as business professionals, wouldn’t be as successful as we can be. There are times when you’re out of balance, but then what you have to do is flip it, because you can create harmony without having balance. You have times where you spend not working where you work from a mountain retreat. Not everybody can do that.

I’m a 20 year overnight success. It took me 20 years to be able to be in that kind of situation where I could have a retreat to go to. But before, I would take two or three weeks off and stay at home. Or maybe work from home. Does that work for everybody? No. But you’ve got to find what works for you as an individual to create harmony in your life. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re out of balance, because we are all out of balance if we run a business. But you can create harmony.

Let me give you another example of what I do. When I wrote my first book, I didn’t have time to it during the day. Now I take a day off a week and I write, every Wednesday, if I’m not traveling. But back then when I wrote the first book, World’s Best Known Marketing Secret, which was the first nationally distributed book, I wrote most all of it from midnight until 7:00 in the morning. And so I would work all day, come home, have dinner with the family every night, spend some time with the family, put the kids to bed, put the wife to bed, and then I started writing around 11:00 or 12:00. And I’d write until 3:00, 4:00, 5:00, sometimes 6:00 or 7:00 in the morning.

Priscilla:
And when was the sleeping?

Ivan:
Then I went home, slept for a few hours, maybe three, four hours, and went back to work.

And I could do that. Could everyone do that? No, not necessarily, but many people can do that. I’m now in my 50s. I’m not sure I could do that as easily now as when I was in my 30s.

Find things that work for you. See, that created harmony for me. My kids never knew I was working on a book. All of a sudden, I had a book out. They’re like, “Well, when did you write it, Dad?” I wrote it in the middle of the night. They had no idea. That’s the way you create harmony. Not doing that specific thing, but that concept of finding ways to achieve what you want to achieve so that you can have harmony in your life, because it might not be fully in balance, but you can still create harmony. Does that make sense?

Priscilla:
Yeah, total. You also sound like you have a very understanding spouse.

Ivan:
Yeah, well, I met Elizabeth in BNI. It was the best referral I ever got. So she knew what she was getting into; she was a BNI president when we met. Yeah, she understands. I think it took a while for her to understand what it’s like being an entrepreneur, but then on the other hand, I travel a lot, but then I get to take the family traveling many times. So if you can, again, create that harmony. If I was just on the road all the time and never took them, there’s no harmony in that.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
But if I’m on the road a fair amount and I get to take them on the road more than what would be normal or common, then that creates harmony.

Priscilla:
Right.

Ivan:
And I think one other thing that I would leave the listeners with – and this is a very unusual podcast because I don’t usually talk about personal things in my podcasts; it’s mostly strictly networking and business, but one of the things that I found that works for me right now is a real simple statement. It’s: Be Here Now. Wherever you are, be there.

So if you’re at work, don’t be thinking, “I wish I would have spent more time with the kids last night.” Be at work. Do what you’ve got to do. Then when you’re at home, be at home. Don’t be thinking about all the projects that you left unfinished that need to be done. Be Here Now.

Wherever you are, be there. And if you’re fully there, that’s one of the really important ways to create harmony. The power of harmony is that you’re a better person. And if you’re a better person, you’re going to be more successful.

Priscilla:
Yeah, and a lot happier.

Ivan:
A lot happier. And if you tie it to networking, I’ve got to do it. What can I say? I’ve got to do it. One of the top ten traits of a master networker is that they have a positive attitude. Part of having a positive attitude is being happy doing what you’re doing and having a happy life.

And so I see them as being part of the integrative whole of being a person. Although this is kind of a different podcast topic, I hope that the BNI members enjoyed it.

Priscilla:
I think it’s really important. Everything you said, I agree with, and it’s just a challenge to find a way to create harmony, but I think it’s a wonderful goal.

So thank you, Dr. Misner.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
And thank you, listeners. I’d just like to remind you that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the Net for working downloadables. Thanks for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you’ll join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.